Monday, October 03, 2005

NUFCED by wikkidpissah

What makes a King out of a slave? Courage.
What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage.
What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist or the dusky dusk?
What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage.
What makes the Sphinx the 7th Wonder? Courage.
What makes the dawn come up like THUNDER?! Courage.
What makes the Hottentot so hot?
What puts the "ape" in apricot?
Whatta they got that I ain't got?

Dorothy & Friends: Courage!

Cowardly Lion: You can say that again.

The difference in talent between the best and worst NFL teams is as small as that in the genetic code of differing countrymen. Imagination, consistency, inspiration, conditioning, education and support are many of the qualities that can convert those small differences into large ones. On rare occasions, a team is lucky enough to have a player who survives and thrives no matter how difficult the circumstances. Staubach, Payton, Singletary and Favre are among the names that come to mind in this category. Well, #5 in green, Donovan McNabb, joined their ranks yesterday.

Many years ago, I worked in an emergency room for a spell, mostly to see if I could. A lot of hernias came in while I was there, and were often a scarier occurrence than the many blood-soaked auto accident victims I had to suture back together. Late in the 2nd Q of the Phil-KC game, a WR got his legs tangled with his defender in a way that McNabb thought was interference. Dozens are the times I’ve seen him rush to the official for a little fingerwagging at times like these. Instead, he made a flag-pulling gesture from where he was and hobbled to the huddle. I realized then that McNabb hurt sooooo much that to run those fifteen yards would be to use a portion of what could be better employed in live action. WOW!!!!!

On the other side of the coin, Mexican Mike Vick, an athlete I get sicker of every time I see him play, tweaked his widdew knee, his team up but two TDs. There he was on the sidelines for the entire 2nd half (though the Falcons were up by 24 then) bouncing around, paying as little attention as if it were the 4th Q of an exhibition game. There was a point in the Eagles game where their juggernaut had so overwhelmed the Chiefs that a comeback was just as unlikely, but there was Donovan, honoring the effort that delivered his team from seventeen down, developing the momentum that would aid future success. As fine an athlete as Mr. Mexico may be, he will never be a QB. QBs lead.

PHIL 37 KC 31

On the subject of courage, I wish, as one who predicted big things for the Chiefs, that Dick Vermeil had the courage of his convictions. First two series of the contest, the Chiefs marched down the field, their Priest hinting at former glories. Third series, in comes LJ, so his tiny pride could be served, interrupting a momentum the team would never recover. Before you’re too senile to understand, coach, may I suggest that you ride your magnificent beast as far as he’ll carry you, for good or ill, else you both wasted your time and ours by returning.


Only manlove or blackmail could explain the extent to which Coach Mike (Buncha) Mularkey has hitched his star to the invisible talents of JPLoseman. His team is two games from utter mutiny. The warm acceptance of their new fans must have been a much-welcomed tonic for a road-weary Saints team.

SD 41 NE 17

41 pts allowed, no turnovers, no sacks – can we give Rod Harrison the defensive MVP in absentia? Worst performance of the Belichick era. Sure could use a Bruschi – hope the comeback rumors are true.

DEN 20 JAX 7

I guess former Brownie linemen will be the hottest commodity on the market now. Shanny’s best move in a long time was plugging GWar in at blocking back – the extra involvement has him playing with a focus & exuberance he hasn’t displayed since college. Boy, the Jags sure abandoned their multi-shift option offense fast. They’ll regret that.

CIN 16 HOU 10

Been watching the games this season at the house of a friend from Cinci who has Ticket. Boy, it sure takes a while to shake the stink-of-failure vibe when your team has been as bad as long as the Bu....Bengals have. Try as I might, I couldn’t convince my pal that their lackluster game was simply what every newly successful team endures when they take a game for granted going in & not a certain sign of inevitable decline. Crack me up!


Not satisfied with being a horrible road team, the Seasucks now look to find new glorious and dramatic ways to lose away from home. Owners of Washington fantasy players must have been thrilled to watch players named Royal and Sellers rack up the team's TDs yesterday. Funniest tandem since guys named Lucky and O’Hara scored for the Brownies in a game a few years back.

IND 31 TENN 10

Sunday's second loudest sound to D-Mac’s beating lionheart, was the collective sigh of relief from fantasy owners of the P-Man. Sell high, kids – this was merely the result of a still-reluctant offense facing a terrible defense. Were I the coach of an offense that could score anytime from anywhere, I’d be looking to develop defensive sub patterns that could get rest for my D rather than ruin an offensive momentum that the Colts will surely need down the road as badly as they’ve needed defensive support in seasons past.

TB 17 DET 13

Question is no longer when Garcia will be healthy enough to take the helm, but whether this offense will have sunk beyond saving by the time he does. Most lopsided four-point game I’ve ever seen. Third loudest sound on the day would be the knuckles cracking from the excessive finger-crossing of Caddy owners.

NYG 44 STL 24

Don’t know if I can stomach the continued success of BOTH Eli and Plexiglass, two of the most insufferable talents in sport. The annual Balloon Fiesta began this weekend here in Albuquerque. Wonder which lines will be longer in the next few days – those for Navajo fry bread and hot chocolate after the mass ascensions or at the waiver wire for Shaun McDonald. Both are equal high-calorie, low-nutrition options, I assure you.

BAL 13 NYJ 3

Families paid $500+ dollars to witness this extravaganza. Only one thing could be more mystifying than that – far as I’ve heard, the leading prison activity, next to recreational sodomy, is working out. Why, then, have athletes like Tyson and Jamal left relatively short and easy incarcerations with so little of their game remaining. Don’t let the 14 fantasy points fool you – most of those were garnered after the Jets’ D became exhausted by their offense’s endless 3-and-outs. Lewis ran like Martha Stewart when it mattered.

OAK 19 DAL 13

Initial signs of shellshock and senility evinced themselves from Bledsoe against a spirited Raider D today. Next week he’ll start throwing off his back foot & TGlenn will realize he’s gone five games without injury and pull on his own groin til it pops. Doubt there will be much left by the time I need him to sub for CPalm’s bye on week 10. Much improved effort from the silver & black, except for Randy – he phones it in more each week.

ATL 30 MINN 10

You were warned. Last week I cautioned that CPep’s resurgence might well be the result of facing an exhausted Saints team. If the Vikes don’t fire Tice this week, you can say hello to the NFC North champion Chicago Bears. Dunno who I wish a mad fan would shoot in the leg more – Joey or Vicky. Second gutsiest skill player in the NFL? Warrick Dunn.

AZ 31 SF 14

What can I say? Niners drank the water, Cards didn’t.

Here’s hoping the Pack can make their leader's courage start to count tonite. Nufced

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