Friday, October 21, 2005

FECKLESS FORECAST by wikkidpissah


Gotta fill in on short notice with the week 7 predictions. Strange as it is, much as I like to analyze performance and project upon that, making actual & specific predictions, game-by-game & player-by-player scares the crap outta my pointed little head. I never participate in the predict-the-score thread on Fanball (I did, once, last year - called every game 13-9 except MNF which I think I called 46-44 cuz I like high-scoring MNF games). As far as individual performance predictions, those who try to predict performance totals are by & large too conservative for my tastes - no one ever predicts those 4td games for SA (even tho it seems he has a lot of em) or calls 2-15 for TO. I've already picked my winners in "Windowlickers", so I'll pick which side I think will cover the line and give you my top choices in each of the positions, in as original an order as I can manage...enjoy.

GAMES - WK 7 (picks at left)

STL -3 NO...BEST BET...Sub QB or no for Rams, Saints AWFUL on road.
GB -1 1/2 Minn...Dont like pick, but Minny org. in disarray
Ind -15 Hou...gotta love a team that dont like to run it up but does anyway
Pgh pk Cin...Bengals not quite grown up enough to beat a team that is
Phil -4 SD...If Philly D cant slow down LT2, it cant be done
KC +2 Mia....see Jimed, plus Phins will be preoccupied with packing their families up
CLE -3 Det...even if Garcia plays (please God), he'll need a game
WASH -13 SF...Good D + rookie QB = blowout
Dal +3 Sea...Riding the new-old triplets (parcells, bledsoe, glenn)...reverse if JJ doesn't play
Buf +3 Oak...hell-in-a-handbasket bet
Bal +1 Chi...Good D + rook QB beats Good D + bad QB
AZ -3 Tenn...Make-good game for McCown (he's gotta be HUGE else Denny keeps his preseason promise to start Warner all season)...reverse if Warner starts
Den +1 1/2 NYG...Bell makes Tiki wish he worked for Broncs
Atl - 7 NYJ...Clemens only 43yo winning this weekend.

FANTASY PERFORMERS - WK 7

QBs
1. MBrunell vs SF
2. JPlummer @ NYG
3. JMcCown vs Tenn
4. BFavre @ Min
5. PManning @ Hou
6. McNabb vs SD
7. MHasselbeck vs Dal
8. DCulpepper vs GB
9. EManning vs Den
10. CPalmer vs Pgh
11. DBledsoe @ Sea
12. KHolcomb @ Oak
13. SMcNair @ Az
14. JMartin vs NO
15. Brees @ Phil
16. ABrooks @Stl
17. BRoethlisberger @ Cin
18. TGreen @ Mia
19. TDilfer vs Det
20. KCollins vs Buf

RB
1. EJames @ Hou
2. W McGahee @ Hou
3. SJackson vs. NO
4. SAlexander vs Dal
5. Clintoris vs SF
6. TBell @ NYG
7. LTomlinson @ Phil
8. MMoore vs GB
9. BWestbrook vs SD
10. WDunn vs NYJ
11. LJordan vs Buf
12. CBrown @ Az
13. AGreen @ Min
14. PHolmes @ Mia
15. JJones @ Sea
16. TBarber vs Den
17. ASmith @ Stl
18. RJohnson vs Pgh
19. CMartin @ Atl
20. RBrown vs KC

WR

1. TOwens vs SD
2. SMoss vs SF
3. DDriver vs Minn
4. LFitzgerald vs Tenn
5. RWayne vs Hou
6. PBurress vs Den
7. CJohnson vs Pgh
8. RSmith @ NYG
9. THolt vs NO
10. CChambers vs KC
11. ABoldin vs Tenn
12. DMason @ Chi
13. MHarrison @Hou
14. JJurevicius vs Dal
15. LEvans @Oak
16. TWilliamson @GB
17. TGlenn @Sea
18. ALelie @ NYG
19. HWard @ Cin
20. DGabriel vs Buf

TE
Quantifying TE performance is a ridiculous freakin endeavor, especially when so many coins out there are going unflipped

K
Quantifying kicker performance is for those who find quantifying TE performance overstimulating but need a break from watching chubby mature porn.

DEF

1. BAL @ Chi
2. Wash vs SF
3. Ind @ Hou
4. Chi vs Bal
5. Atl vs NYJ
6. Stl vs NO
7. Cle vs Det
8. Det vs Cle
9. Az vs Tenn
10. Buf @ Oak
really can't find a way to differentiate between the rest.

OK - that'll do it. Don't forget to give me heaping piles of shit when I turn out to be absolutely wrong about everything. My dominatrix is in Cancun surfing Hurricane Wilma. Nufced.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

thanks for the great advice, pissah. it never occurred to me to combine the words chubby and mature in my porn searches. looks like my day is booked.

geognome

mr ellipsis said...

The pic sucks ... you gotta get something with better rez.

wikkidpissah said...

the picture was the only one that came up when i hit "chubby mature prognosticator", Mr. E (oo, i get it!). make sure you hit "female" widdat, 'gnome.

Watership2 said...

suggestion: just use the "small" option, and no left/center/right placement (click on "none")...that'll give you a good picture everytime.