Thursday, June 30, 2005

2005 NBA Draft Review

1 Milwaukee Andrew Bogut -
Drafting a white guy with the #1 pick.... This cannot be good. Seriously though, Bogut will be a good, not great player for his career and maybe even make an all star appearence or two. From a GM's perspective, the NBA draft is more about not picking a bust than it is about picking the next big superstar, so this is a smart pick, and a good pick.
2 Atlanta Marvin Williams - SF
Want to know why the Hawks suck year after year? It's picks like these. Now I'm not saying Marvin Williams couldn't be a great player, but the Hawks have no business drafting him when they have nobody to play the point, and they spent 2 of their picks last year on small forwards. Williams can not play with his back to the basket, and his post ability is limited at best. He could be a borderline great small forward, but he will be a borderline bust power forward. Chris Paul is one the board here, Deron Williams is on the board buggybumpers here. Absolutely an awful pick, and I'm very upset with this pick if I'm a Hawks fan. But since we know there is no such thing as a Hawks fan, fuck it.
3 Utah Deron Williams - PG
I don't like him as much as Chris Paul, but Deron could be a good point guard in the league if he improves his shooting. He's a very good defender, and has good size for a point guard. Jerry Sloan needs a good point guard to run his offense, and he may have found one here. Utah will be a very talented team next year. Williams, Boozer, AK47. If they find a shooting guard they could make some noise in the west.
4 New Orleans Chris Paul - PG
My number 1 player in the draft. He can shoot, has great court vision, and makes some plays that just make you say, "wow." A little suprised New Orleans went with a PG here with the emergence of Dan Dickau as a good distributer at the end of last season, but I guess they could package Dickau & Magloire to get a wing or a big. On another note, Paul was by far the best dressed player there according to myself and a source who was at the draft. The source also mentioned that Rony Turiaf is a "good guy." So do with that information what you must.
5 Charlotte Raymond Felton - PG
Another person I get to call "Ray Ray!!" How exciting!! Ray Ray can get a little sloppy sometimes in the open court, but he is a play maker, and he will help Charlotte sell tickets. Ray to Meka and Ray to May ally-oops will be a regular sight in Charlotte this year.
6 Portland Martell Webster - SG
He obviously has no chance. He's going to be playing in Portland!!! Webster is a great shooter with an "NBA body" (groupies beware!!), but he can't create his own shot, and is making a big leap from high school to the Association.
7 Toronto Charlie Villanueva - PF
Umm... Check please. Poor poor Canadian basketball fans. Vince basically gives them a big middle finger and weasels his way to New Jersey, and Toronto gets next to nothing for him. Then they draft Charlie Villanueva. I guess this means Bosh will play center, but they needed scoring. Skip to my Lou and Sam Mitchell are constantly in a Seth and Zach like fued, and Jalen Rose is their main scoring option. Read that last sentence again and tell me how good you think this team will be.
8 New York Channing Frye -
If Isiah Thomas was just a GM, and never was a hall of fame player, does he have a job still? The answer is no.
9 Golden State Ike Diogu - PF
My sleeper of the draft turned out to not be a sleeper at all. Ike will be the next Elton Brand, if not better. I'm very suprised he went this high, because most teams weren't this high on him, but this is a very good pick.
10 LA Lakers Andrew Bynum -
I guess Kobe wanted a new Shaq because he broke his old one. Bynum won't be ready for at least a year, but he could help rebuild the Laker dynasty. There was rumors that they were all about taking Gerald Green here, but I guess they turned out to be nothing more than rumors. And is it me, or does he look like a fatter version of Jason Weaver (see the picture of him at the top). Remember, he played the older brother on that "Smart Guy" show. Yeah I had to look up the name, so what, want to fight about it?
11 Orlando Fran Vazquez - PF
The "Sam Cassell award" winner for the ugliest player in the draft. He's supposed to be a physical presence down low, and be able to block shots, rebound, and all that good stuff. I don't really think of him as a center, so it will be interesting to see how they shuffle around him and Dwight Howard.
12 LA Clippers Yaroslav Korolev - SF
Eh...It's the Clippers...
13 Charlotte Sean May - PF
the Charlotte Bobcats drafting players from the state of North Carolina. I wonder what all this could be about? May has good moves down low, and fantastic hands for a big. He's just fat.
14 Minnesota Rashad McCants - SG
Oh no!!! How is Spree' going to feed his family now?!?!?!!? Looks like they found his replacement, and McCants is probably the best pure scorer in the draft. Still can't believe they took him over Granger, Green, and Garcia. (who they were rumored to really like) Looks like I need new sources.
15 New Jersey Antoine Wright - SG
Don't really understand this pick. Why not play Vince at the 2, Jefferson at the 3, and draft K-Mart's replacement here, which by the way, the Nets still haven't found. Maybe Wright is a big Jay Z fan.
16 Toronto Joey Graham - SF
Hmmm.... good player, but it doesn't fit with the Villanueva pick. Where do they want Villanueva to play? Do they want him to play the 3, and sit Graham? So many questions, so little intelligence in the Raptors front office.
17 Indiana Danny Granger - SF
Would be the steal of the draft if he was in a better situation. I had Granger as the 2nd best player in the draft. I guess teams passed up on him because of knee, but he can shoot, pass, get boards, and throw down. I have a feeling some teams are going to end up regretting passing up on him. (looking at you Toronto)
18 Boston Gerald Green - SG
STEAL OF THE DRAFT!!! Boston will be back in the finals sometime in the next five years. Mark my words... Mark them!!! Delonte West, Tony Allen, Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, and Ryan Gomes. Pretty good drafting Mr. Ainge.
19 Memphis Hakim Warrick - PF
Will be interesting to see what they do with this pick, seeing as they currently don't have any money to pay a draft pick. Maybe we'll see a deal involving Warrick, J-Will, and Bonzi getting shipped somewhere for a future draft pick, and some expiring contracts. If they keep him, he would probably play the 3, and Warrick is my nominee to be in the dunk contest next year.
20 Denver Julius Hodge - SG
Will never be a starter, but could be a quality player off the bench. Can play the 2 or the 3, and as long as He can keep away from getting tangled up with Chris Paul on the floor, I see no reason why he can't get with as many groupies as he wants.
21 Phoenix Nate Robinson - PG (traded to New York)
Why is New York trading for players? Are they trying to start two NBDL teams by themselves?
22 Denver Jarrett Jack - PG (traded to Portland)
Very confusing trade. If Portland wanted a PG in the 1st round, why not just draft one at #3? Wasted pick.
23 Sacramento Francisco Garcia - SG
I don't know if Sacramento relizes that Kenny Thomas is it's starting PF, but unless they plan on not scoring all their points from 18 feet out, they should have taken a PF here. Garcia is a great shooter, who I thought would go higher than this. He should thrive with Bibby feeding him the ball.
24 Houston Luther Head - PG
Houston was going to draft the player who could make the biggest difference immediately, and in Head they got a guy without a position. His passing skills aren't good enough to run the point, and I don't know if he can be as good of a scorer as Houston thinks he can be. Although, with T-Mac as their primary ball-handler, Head could suprise me.
25 Seattle Johan Petro -
He doesn't have a post game. I Guarantee he is out of the NBA 5 years from now.
26 Detroit Jason Maxiell - PF
He's only 6-7, but he has all the stregnth needed to be a PF in the NBA. He's a shot blocker, and a monster on the boards. Not a good scorer, but he will fit in well with Ben Wallace.
27 Portland Linas Kleiza - SF
Another one of the dreaded 'tweeners. He is one of the more underrated scorers in the draft, and it's a shame he'll never have a chance to be good because he'll be playing in Portland.
28 San Antonio Ian Mahinmi - PF
29 Miami Wayne Simien - PF
Probably will replace Haslem, and start right away for the heat.Could end up being a huge steal.
30 New York David Lee - PF
The king of the pre-draft camp, and the only anerican born white player taken in the first round. (So you know it was a deep draft.)

My winners of the 1st round are: New Orleans, Golden State, Indiana, Boston, Miami.
And my losers are: Atlanta, Portland, Toronto, New York, New Jersey, Seattle

Posted by Hello

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

NBA Mock Turtle

Let's see how many of these babies I get right.

1. Milwaukee (30-52)- Andrew Bogut C Utah
2. Atlanta (13-69)- Marvin Williams F UNC
3. Utah (26-56)- Deron Williams PG Illinois
4. New Orleans (18-64)- Chris Paul PG Wake Forest
5. Charlotte (18-64)- Raymond Felton PG UNC
6. Portland (27-55)- Martell Webster SG/SF WA (HS)
7. Toronto (33-49)- Danny Granger SF New Mexico
8. New York (33-49)- Channing Frye C Arizona
9. Golden State (34-48)- Hakim Warrick F Syracuse
10. LA Lakers (34-48)- Gerald Green SG/SF TX (HS)
11. Orlando (36-46)- Joey Graham SF Oklahoma St.
12. LA Clippers (37-45)- Yaroslav Korolev SF Russia
*13. Charlotte from Cleveland (42-40) via Phoenix- Rashad McCants SG UNC
14. Minnesota (44-38)- Francisco Garcia SG Louisville
15. New Jersey (42-40)- Charlie Villanueva PF UConn
16. Toronto from Philadelphia (43-39) via Denver and New Jersey- Andrew Bynum C NJ (HS)
17. Indiana (44-38)- Antoine Wright SG Texas A&M
18. Boston (45-37)- Roko Ukic PG Croatia
19. Memphis (45-37)- Fran Vazquez PF/C Spain
*20. Denver from Washington (45-37) via Orlando- Sean May PF UNC
21. Phoenix from Chicago (47-35)- Johan Petro C France
*22. Denver (49-33)- C.J Miles SG TX (HS)
23. Sacramento (50-32)- Wayne Simien PF Kansas
24. Houston (51-31)- Ike Diogu PF Arizona State
25. Seattle (52-30)- Chris Taft PF/C Pittburgh
26. Detroit (54-28)- Julius Hodge G/SF North Carolina St.
27. Portland from Utah from Dallas (58-24)- Martynas Andriuskevicius C Lithuania
28. San Antonio (59-23)- Luther Head SG Illinois
29. Miami (59-23)- Ryan Gomes SF Providence
30. New York from Phoenix (62-20) via San Antonio- Andray Blatche PF CT (HS)
*Charlotte trades the # 13 pick to Denver for the #20 & #22 picks.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

The 2000 NBA draft, a look back

With the NBA draft looming (June 28th) I've decided to take a look back to 5 years ago (the 2000 draft), and an NBA draft that contains players with names such as Speedy, and Mamadou. We're going to take a look at the 10 best, and 10 worst picks of that draft. Starting with the best:

10th best pick- Mamadou N'Diaye, Auburn (#26 pick)
And yes, this pick has EVERYTHING to do with his name. It's my favorite name in NBA history. It answers the age old question of, "who loves you?"

9th- Brian Cardinal, Purdue (#44 pick)
All hustle, and has great fundamentals... AKA an overachieving white guy. He was a great pick in the 2nd round, and is the type of player everybody can root for. Plus this was a weak draft.

8th- Quentin Richardon, DePaul (#18 pick)
Your 3 point champion had a good season with the Suns, but threw up some clunkers in the playoffs. He's a great shooter from beyond the arc, but I doubt he will ever be anything more. Also, I belie-...excuse me for a second. Q-DAWG!!! YOU MY BOY Q!! YOU MY BOY!!

7th- Mark Madsen, Stanford (#29 pick)
Ah we can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance
Well they’re are no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to, a place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind,
And we can dance

Thank god he was drafted by the Lakers and we were given that magical moment. They need to come out with a dvd where they just loop that footage for three hours. "Mark Madsen's mad mad dance video."

6th- Desmond Mason, Oklahoma St. (#17 pick)
Winning the dunk contest is more important than winning the three point contest. That's why he's ahead of "Q."

5th- Mike Miller, Florida (#5 pick)
Turned himself from a "three point shooter" into a bonafide scorer. He even averages about five boards and three dimes a game. Just in case you're wondering, at this point there are just as many white people on this list as black people... Yeah, it was a weak draft.

4th- Jamal Crawford, Michigan (#8 pick)
He has his own commercial. That's good enough to crack the top five.

3rd- Jamaal Magloire, Kentucky (#19 pick)
I got a question, how come Jamaal Magloire spells his name with two a's & Jamal Crawford spells his with one? Did his parents fill out his birth certificate by taking turns writing each letter with blindfolds on, but then they got out of rhythm and each marked down an "a?" I've already spent more time on this then any human ever should.

2nd- Michael Redd,(THE)Ohio State (#43 pick)
The best value pick of the draft. He's been on the all-NBA 3rd team, and an all star team. He's in that 2nd tier of shooting guards, and may be the "Pippen" to LeBron's "MJ."

1st- Kenyon Martin, Cincinnati (#1 pick)
I think he's about even with Michael Redd, but he looks exactly like Joe Budden, So he wins. Hooray for K-mart.

& now for the worst:

10th worst pick- Stromile Swift, LSU (#2 pick)
This is really by default. He's a mediocre player, who, in a weak draft class, was taken high because of his physical skills. Stromile, If you're reading this, I still love you.

9th- Darius Miles, East Saint Louis (Is there any other Saint Louis?) HS (#3 pick)
Should of gone to college. You knew he was destined to be a Clipper, and now he's faded into mediocrity in Portland. Although, he is partly reponsible for the Q-Dawg head pound which I love so much.

8th- Etan Thomas, Syracuse (#12 pick)
The great thing about the NBA is that Etan Thomas turned his seven points, five boards into 50 million dollars.

7th- Jason Collier, Georgia Tech (#15 pick)
He wasn't good enough to play in the NBA, so they shipped him to Atlanta!

6th- Mateen Cleeves, Michigan State (#14 pick)
The ultimate case of a good college player not panning out in the pros. On a side note, If you heard the name "Mateen Cleeves" whouldn't you think he was the lost member of Monty Python? Or maybe that's just me.

5th- Keyon Dooling, Missouri (#10 pick)
The Clippers have three of the 1st 18 picks, including two in the top ten. Five years later, NONE are on the team. You gotta feel sorry for the Clipper fans- oh wait, no you don't.

4th- Donnell Harvey, Florida (#22 pick)
The man has been on six teams in five years. How can someone be drafted a journeyman? It's the darnest thing I've ever seen...Well, besides that whole Clippers thing I just mentioned.

3rd- Dalibor Bagaric, Croatia (#24)
I think at this point, it's safe to say that no one from Croatia should ever be drafted...Ever.

2nd- Marcus Fizer, Iowa St. (#4 pick)
Who didn't love Marcus Fizer in college? Hell, he even made the all-rookie team (although, with this class, that wasn't that hard.) but I have him here because I thought he was going to be a good pro, and he failed me. He failed himself, he failed us all. But on the bright side, he's not Jerome Moiso.

1st- Jerome Moiso, UCLA (#11 pick)
There is more zero's in his career stats then there are on a scale when Star Jones steps on it. He's never done anything remotely resembling somebody who should have been the #11 pick.

& remember, who loves you?

Monday, June 20, 2005

What if...

What if Rasheed Wallace calls timeout before the clock runs out last night and gets "T'd up"? Well, here's what happens:

- Manu sinks the free throw, and the Spurs win.

- Devastated by losing in such a fashion, the Pistons lose game six. Making the Spurs champions, and cementing Tim Duncan's status as the top PF of my lifetime.

- After being scrutinized all off-season, Rasheed Wallace reverts to his old ways, and in a fit of rage, kills an asian family of 11 at a summer league game.

- 'Sheed is arrested, and sentenced to "lifetime as a Clipper." (the judge felt prison was letting him off easy)

- The strain is too much on Larry Brown, and he is forced to retire. The Pistons name P.J Carlesimo head coach

- Since 'Sheed is no longer on the team, the Pistions are forced to start (you guessed it) Darko Milicic.

- After taking verbal abuse from coach Carlesimo everyday, half way through the season Darko snaps & chokes P.J to death. Latrell Sprewell is arrested immediately on concpiracy charges.

- Darko & Latrell are also sentenced to "lifetime as a clipper" & they move into a house with 'Sheed. The FOX network is intrigued by this premise, and they turn it into a reality show entitled "I GOTTA FEED MY FAMILY!!!."

- Some of the more memorable scenes from the show are: when 'Sheed teaches Darko how to "puff, puff, give." When they are all paid a suprise visit by Shawn Kemp & Nate Newton who are across the street filming the reality show "My belly is full of cocaine, and I have to pay child support for 43 children." And of course, when reality show alumn David, from Real World: New Orleans dropped by to sing his hit song "Be my baby tonight." Just in case you forgot how it goes, here is a little taste: "I see how you treat other thugs you've been with so come on be my baby tonight!" Watch out Brian McKnight! Your days are numbered.

Makes you kinda sad he didn't get the timeout called in time, doesn't it?
 Posted by Hello

Trying to post a picture. Hope it's gay enough for you. I can't post any pics I find on the net. What's up Wetboat? Posted by Hello

Saturday, June 18, 2005

George Bretts Hemoroids

Now you can own a piece of Major League Hall Of Famer, and AL MVP Gearge Brett. Seems a very unethical doctor has put George Bretts Hemoroid, the very one that sidelined him in the world series, up for bid on Ebay. "Own your very own picec of World Series History" the add states.

Dr. Puckereye, a leading surgeon in hemoroidal care, has put this piece up for sale. He states that you should save all your money up now, because he expects a large number of bids. He was recently quoted as saying, " This will make me an ass load of money"

In other major league historical auctions, be sure to be on the look out for J.R. Richards Aneurisim, and Three Fingers Brown's Missing Didgets.

Thursday, June 16, 2005


do you guys see my name as GBin or as Jeff??

I suppose I should post something.....

I'm here basically, because I am the funniest & most knowledgable. Plus I'm here to keep an eye on Wikkid (Doc says he ain't been taking his meds lately.) Also, I would like all of you to know that I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS!!! I CAN DO 100 PUSHUPS IN 20 MINUTES!!!! PEOPLE ARE SCARED OF ME!!!


What up guys, I am all up in this now! :)

Monday, June 13, 2005

Gambling Problem?????

Coming soon, all the info you need to know, will be posted here. All the info that will get your legs broken if you follow it

Dont be afraid to wager the mortgage money with my picks, you'll earn it at work again. When the wife gets pissed at all the bounced checks, tell her I said shut the fuck up, your working the bugs out of a system.

Then call my Brother, the divorce attorney, he'll give you a referral bonus.

mission statement

MISSION: creating entertainment + analysis for people who HATE mission statements

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Hey, I'm learning how to upload an image, that's all.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Introducing LOCKERROOM

Announcing the arrival of a new baby


8 lbs, 3 oz.
19" long
Throws a mean sucker punch

Bookmark this!