Wednesday, November 30, 2005

By The Numbers - Week 12

It’s time for a look at the fantasy numbers for week 12. Some lucky people hit the WR and TE jackpot, and some others wish they were starting the likes of Mark Brunell at QB …

The Goods

RB: After a couple of netherworld performances by mythical RBs, the cream again rose to the top. Too bad for the Redskins! LaDanian Tomlinson used late/OT defensive lapses by Washington to add 73 yards and two TDs to his totals for the day. Chalk up 28 fantasy points for his owners – that’s me in one public league, anyway.

WR: Yeah, sure, you had Marcus Robinson in your lineup because you just knew the match up was great for him. This guy sleeps all day except for three plays – they just all happen to be catches for TDs! Nice way for his owners to put up 19 fantasy points. Of course, I didn’t start Joe Jurevicius on the day that Hasselbeck helps him roll up 137 receiving yards and two TDs for 18 fantasy points.

TE: What idiot said to start Ben Watson (me)? The plays this week were Todd Heap (20 fantasy points in a late Ravens rally) and Alge Crumpler (17 fantasy points). These two made winners out of some very happy owners.

Moaning Fodder

Drew Brees did his best to make the Redskins defense feel better, with three picks and a modest 215 yards passing. That negative 2 fantasy point performance is bound to be the low-water mark for his season.

Kerry Collins made the Dolphins defense look like studs. He couldn’t muster a passing TD, got sacked 7 times, threw two picks, fumbled once and got sacked for a safety. His owners’ only saving grace was a goal-line dive for a TD and a mean 5 fantasy points. Of course, I started Collins over Trent Green.

That had to be Greg Brady at QB for NE (or was that Marsha?). Four picks in one game, and Tom Brady looked lost as he eked out two fantasy points for his disappointed owners. Oh, for the friendly confines of Foxboro …

The QB carousel turns in St. Louis and Jacksonville, where Marc Bulger owners are crying over the early exit of their Jamie Martin handcuff and Byron Leftwich owners are, well, just crying (that includes me). Who the hell is Ryan Fitzpatrick?

This Week in Fantasy History

This week, we take a look at two lucky week 13 performances by quarterbacks who no one would argue are the greatest of all time (or any time).

In the 1999 season, Jeff Blake guided the Cincinnati Bengals to a 44-30 victory over the 49ers and Jeff Garcia. Although Garcia owners were quite happy with 437 yards passing and three TDs, Blake owners (you know who you were) were ecstatic with a mistake-free 334 yards passing and four TDs.

On the same day, our friend Kerry Collins threw for 3 TDs and dove for another (sound familiar?) in a Giants 41-28 victory over the cross-town rival Jets. His total of 341 yards passing compared quite nicely to Blake’s, and he also managed to avoid mistakes.

Not too shabby when your QB gets you 30 fantasy points!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Noodle in a Haystack

Before we get started this week, let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am a Colts fan. In fact I am a season ticket holder. I tell you this to clear up any misconceptions that might arise.

Furthermore, I should tell, you that I was at the game, and I have been drinking. I tell you this to clear up any typos that arise.

For those of you that have never been to a marquee match up on Monday night, I must tell you that the atmosphere is far beyond your standard NFL contest. This is particularly magnified when the home team is in the midst of a full fledged assault on an unbeaten season.

Coming into the game many prognosticators were picking the Steelers, if for no other reason than to affirm their belief that every team must lose eventually so why not now?

The Colt quickly dismissed this notion as pure hyperbole, stopping the Steelers with a 3 and out before responding with a one and done.

For any naysayers, the Colts first possession was as much a religious conversion as a wake up call. A one play strike to Marvin Harrison brought 80 yards of fury for then non believers.
After the initial barrage, Pittsburgh was able to hang close due manly to the excessively heavy handed flagging by the officiating crew. Even after such obvious travesties as an unsportsmanlike conduct call on Harrison, the Colts were able to maintain a 16-7 lead at halftime.

In the second half the Colts were able to show why they are the class of league, shutting out the Steelers while extending their margin of victory to 26-7.

While I can’t speak too highly of the Pittsburgh team that rolled over and died, I would be remiss if I didn’t say something positive about their fans. I have been to every Colts home game this year, and this was by far the strongest support that an opposing team has gotten. Their fans travel well, which is something that every true sports fan should appreciate.

In closing, I feel that I should take this opportunity to tell all of you that the Colts are going undefeated. You might be able to tell me I am drunk, but can you tell me I am wrong?

I’ll be back next week, unless wikkid shows me the door. How drunk and euphoric I am is, as they say in the biz, to be decided.

Monday, November 28, 2005

NUFCED by wikkidpissah

LIVE TO PLAY, PLAY TO LIVE

For twenty years, almost all of my income has come from gambling. About half has come in my 15 years as a poker dealer, a quarter from playing poker and a quarter from betting horses. There have been lows (none matched by the year I lost 80K playing video poker, it being the only true oblivion I could find during the year of my wife’s demise) and bad beats (any who know me know the “WOWEE” story – if asked, I’ll recount it in the message section) but, thanks mostly to memory’s difficulty in recalling pain, they fade to gray. I can, however, remember important wins as freshly as in the times they occurred. Such as:

- The week I moved to New Mexico, the Cowboys played the Broncos in SB X???. If you live in NM, you must decide, and dramatically so, how you feel about Texans. Texan hate was near-unanimous in the hippie community I’d moved to, so much so that none of them could find a Cowboys fan to bet with. Knowing the Orange Crush to have nooo chance, I complied, making myself a couple months income & severely depleting the weed budget of northern NM.

- The Dwight Clark catch in the NFC championship game a couple years later gained me nearly as tidy a sum but so excited me that I jumped from my chair and broke my hand on the ceiling with my fist-shake, costing my uninsured ass most of what I’d made.

- I was the only person in my section at the closed-circuit broadcast of the 1st Leonard/Duran fight who thought Duran could beat Leonard & once again took all comers at escalatingly tremendous odds. Made so much & pissed off so many that I hired two endomorphs to escort me to my car.

- Poker wins tend to blur because they are mostly of the grinding variety but highlights are: winning sixteen hands in a row, longest streak I’ve ever seen; winning at razz 62 of the 63 times I played it: the private game between old-school casino owners at the El Capitan in Hawthorne NV that Jack Straus & I would regularly rape.

Horses have brought me my biggest and most memorable scores, including:

- - The largest bet I ever made (and the only time I ever went to an ATM to get more money to wager) was on the handsomest horse I ever backed, a son of Damascus named Ogygian. He was up against a Woody Stephens entry (one of whom, Gone West, would later win a Triple Crown race) that created a huge overlay on my choice. It was the only time I ever shook from anticpation. Well, the gate opened and Ogygian reared, spotting seven lengths to two eventual G1 winners. Before my gonads recovered from their retraction, Ogygian circled the field to win going away.

- In my summer as a jockey’s agent (a friend asked me to take over his book due to a famiy tragedy) I had no luck getting mounts for my apprentice jockey. I poured thru his past preformances in the Racing Form, trying to find something he did well enough for me to recommend him to the owners I knew. I found out that the best of his many mediocre rides had come while riding on the rail. I used this knowledge to convince an owner friend to use him on a horse who had drawn the rail position. As an act of faith, I wheeled this 40-1 shot on top of the only sensible competition in the trifecta. The little sumbitch brought the horse in and a $7,000 payoff (more than I made my whole time as an agent) to yours truly.

- The first Saturday of May of 1989, I made $35,000 on one race. Six months earlier, I had seen a young horse give a good account of himself against the fanciest horse in his age group. Since he was trained by my favorite trainer, Charlie Whittingham, I decided to keep him in mind for the Kentucky Derby futures. When they opened futures betting, the horse I expected to be around 40-1 was listed at 150-1. I plunked down a coupla yards on the overlay. When I told my friends about him, they bet him at the odds of 75-1 to which my bet had dropped it; they told their friends who bet at 40-1; their friends bet at 20-1, etc. Eventually, it seemed everyone in Reno had a piece of Sunday Silence. The week before the Derby, I believe I answered more questions about the horse than did his trainer. When he won it, we had hit the racebooks for over $120,000. I cashed my 30K & received about 5K worth (plus numerous bindles of gratitude) of tips from the local sporting community.


Why do I menion all this? Because my pal & LOCKERROOM prognosticator Jimed (the Southie Savant) pulled not one but two miracles out of his ass to sweep his last-gasp action on this week’s game. Those of you who remember the picture he posted the last time one of his games ended dramatically can only dread with me what shall appear on this page Friday. Summaries of these blessed events will be included in the following game capsules (sorry to beat you to the punch, Jimmy).

STL 33 HOU 27 OT
Miracle #1: An early injury to Latin pop sensation Jamie Martin paaahked the Ram’s chances in the hands of a Quawtahback from Haaahvid Yaaahd, 7th round rookie Ryan Fitzpatrick. Inheriting a 14-0 deficit, the wee mick barely survived three quarters of merciless blitzing. When the Lambs got the ball with 2:41 remaining they were 10 down. And, mind you, Jimed’s LAYING 3 ½ points. Well, a bomb to Ike, an onside kick and 47 FG later, we’re going to OT. Fat lotta good that’s gonna do Jimmy – less’n 20% of OT games are won by TDs, so he’s gonna die by the hook, right? WRONG!! No prawwwblem fer a Haaahvid grad – another bawumb of 56 yahds to previously catchless KCurtis from dis wikkid li’l pissah & Jimmy’s goin to da windah!..Gotta say, Honey Fitz wasn’t the hero of this game - I’ve always thought Torry Holt to be a fair-weather WR, but this was his best game as a pro. He presented great targets to the rook all day & bailed him out on several occasions.

SD 23 WASH 17
Miracle #2. Several missed FGs, untimely sacks and INTs have the Chargers down 10 going into the final quarter. And, mind you, Jimed’s LAYING 3 ½ points. Well, Washington has become leader of a number of teams for whom no lead is too big to squander. LT2’s 2nd long TD run of the day sends the game into OT. Fat lotta good that’s gonna do Jimmy – less’n 20% of OT games are won by TDs, so he’s gonna die by the hook, right? WRONG!! AGAIN!!! In LT2s impressive campaign toward getting a “2”-ectomy, he breaks away for a 3rd long TD run…and Jimmy’s goin’ to da windah! AGAIN!!!...Chargers have a helluva decision to make on their QBs this offseason – Brees looked as bad this week as he did good last week.

TEN 33 SF 23
My favorite bad team showed up maybe the worst pass D I have ever seen. McNair hasn’t been this Airy in years…I hope someone will be smart enough this offseason (hellooo, Philly) to realize that Arnaz Battle will be the most valuable restricted FA available and rescue this excellent possession WR from what will be years of bad QBing by the Bay.

CIN 42 BAL 29
Apologies to the PMan, but CPalm has the best touch in football...Is anyone else noticing how player attitude management has gone to hell as a coaching art and how it appears to be causing all these unfathomable comebacks & 2nd half shootouts? The Bengals got sooo pissed at losing their shutout at 34-0 that they actually let it get close. Lombardi spins again…could JLew have been suffering from over-the-shoulder syndrome? First game without CheT stealing carries and he runs authoritatively on a good run D.

CAR 13 BUF 9
Not a miracle per se, but the Cats DID come from behind to cover by a half pt for Jimmy’s 3rd win…Bills’ D played a spirited game but Carolina had NO playcalling continuity for the 2nd consecutive game…Dunno how the Bills ended up only allowing four sacks. Every time I looked at the game on the 8cast, Loseman was getting shitstomped.

CHI 13 TB 10
Never has so good a defense been supported by so poor an offense. The Bears have scored one TD in three games of drives longer than 10 yards…The Bucs late TD ended a streak of 37 possessions by Bears’ opponents without one.

MIN 24 CLE 12
Marcus Robinson’s bi-annual Freakatron game caused him to overtake Darren Sharper as the Vikings’ leading receiver…Rubes is undaunted facing 8-in-the-box and is the only reason the Browns’ O isn’t worse than the Bears’.

KC 26 NE 16
I’m convinced – LJ has the best burst in the game. They almost lost him today, tho, when a Pats’ defender twisted his leg, far after this game got out of hand. Chiefs will regret not finding some relief for their new franchise player…I wonder if NE could get some defensive backfield help from the Niners.

JAX 24 AZ 17
Woe to the team so desperate for a QB this offseason that they confuse free-agent-to-be David Garrard for one – he’s awwwful…nor is Greg Jones a starting tailback, sorry to say…TD Vulture of the Day: Az TE Eric “the Eagle” Edwards snatching a one-yarder cuz there isn’t a Card RB who can move forward on his own.

MIA 33 OAK 21
Congratulations, Kerry Collins – it can’t be easy to make Gus Frerotte look competent, but you reached down and found that nothing extra…I’ve never seen a talented ballplayer play with less enthusiasm than RMoss is presently…Ronnie Brown gave StickyIckyRicky the chance to finish this one and possibly start the next with two fumbles.

PHIL 19 GB 14
Ugfest of the day. McMike celebrated his coaches failure to recognize how much more productive his QB is in the shotgun by regressing mightily…except for the Titans whole team, the unit playing the best with the least is the Packer D…OmiGado was the hero and goat for the Packer offense, running for 111 but losing a fumble at a crucial point again…I shall no longer be commenting on Brett Favre – it’s heartbreaking.

SEA 24 NYG 21
Good game…If the Giants fail to go anywhere this year, it will be because Eli forces waaay too many passes. The Hawks could have had a half dozen INTs today…Tiki had 612 yds of total offense in November with but one TD…Some commentator (I think it was Boomer E) called the Seahawks the 2nd best team in football today. If that’s true, we are indeed in parity hell.

NO NYJ
The first truly irrelevant game of the season. Do you really care what I have to say about it? I didn’t think so.

I used to have a horseplayer friend who never went a day without making a bet, so as not to miss his lucky day. May you ever shit shamrocks, Sarge – you’ve earned it. Play hard -

Sunday, November 27, 2005

WETBOAT'S SUNDAY MUSINGS, WEEK 12


Walt Michaels, we hardly knew ye.


MOOCHIE FIRED?

If that happens, I ought to be fired as Official Predictor of The First Coach to be Fired. During Week 7, I predicted these coaches would most likely lose their job before the season was over: Tice, Sherman, Capers, Billick , and Parcells. Did I expect Moochie to get the ax before any of them? No.

Whether the Lions decide to fire Mariucci in the next few days, I'm still sticking to my prediction that Parcells will quit even if Dallas makes hay in the playoffs. Who knows, hell, he may coach the Lions next year. Team-hopping is his M.O.

I'm going to hate this, but I may be turning into a Tony Kornheiser clone. Like Tony, my predictions never bear fruit.

WHAT'S IN A NAME, PART III

Remember two years ago when Mariucci was trumpeted as the savior of the Lions franchise, after going 5-27 in two seasons under Marty Morningbreakfastweg?

If you think about Mornhinweg a little more, I believe (after a cursory look at NFL records) that no NFL coach with an unintelligible name has taken his team to the playoffs. I'm not sure why this doesn't apply to NCAA basketball, most particularly at Duke.

Maybe that's why Walt Michaels was able to take the Jets to one game of the Super Bowl back in 1982. He was born Wladek Mijkai.

WHILE ON THE SUBJECT OF WLADEK MIJKAI

Seriously, it was a shame that Walt Michaels departed after the 1982 season under pressure from Jets management, particularly after a deflating loss to the Miami Dolphins in the mud at the Orange Bowl. I honestly think that if Walt Michaels stayed on, Richard Todd, Wesley Walker, and Freeman McNeil would've become the most feared triplets of the 1980's, and won at least a couple Super Bowls.

Michaels' successor, Joe Walton, signed his own death warrant with his first major coaching decision: drafting Ken O'Brien two spots ahead of the Miami Dolphins, who took Dan Marino. That decision didn't do much for Richard Todd's psyche, either.

I kinda liked Walt Michaels. He was in-your-face. He inspired his team in a way his four successors, including Bruce Coslet, Pete Carroll, and Rich Kotite, never did. He left the Jets one year before the team ditched Shea Stadium and went across the river to share space with the Giants, where they promptly lost their local identity.

The Jets identify with Queens, Kings, Nassau and Suffolk Counties. The Giants can take Manhattan and the Bronx. When the Jets were at Shea, they used to represent the tough, in-your-nose, in-the-grass spirit of Long Island, with Joe Namath, Weeb Ewbank, Joe Klecko and Mark Gastineau. Is it any wonder the New York Sack Exchange crashed, so to speak, when the Jets moved to New Jersey? The stock hasn't recovered from its 1982 highs. John Abraham and Dewayne Washington, anyone?

Even the New Jersey Generals of the USFL, who went 25-11 under, yes, Walt Michaels, had a clearer identity.

Honestly, I was delighted when New York City's proposal to move the Jets to a stadium on the West Side of Manhattan was shot down. I really thought that if they were going to build a West Side stadium, that should belong to the Giants. The Jets just don't represent Manhattan. Once the New Jersey Nets' stadium in Brooklyn is completed, I say let the Jets follow. Long Island, Queens and Brooklyn will only be too happy to embrace their team. Every time I think of the Jets in New Jersey, I get a headache. Really.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

College Basketball, Baby!!!

With college basketball season getting started, I was shmoozing along the 'net reading different preview articles, then it hit me-- you know what all these preview articles are missing? Me. So with that in mind, I decided to select the 16 teams that I think have a chance to win it all, and have staged a mock tournament. Before we start, let me send my apologies to the Florida Gators, who I want to put in, but can't see kicking any of the other guys out for them. Next year, you can bet they'll be here. So, in the immortal words of Captain Tenniel, Let's get it on!


Play-in game:
West Virginia vs Northern Iowa vs UCLA (triple threat match)
A West Virginia vs UCLA match was all set to begin until... wait, wait a minute... THAT'S NORTHERN IOWA'S MUSIC! That's right, the 1st ever triple threat match, to decide who loses to Duke. It starts out with WVA and UCLA double teaming Northern Iowa, and beating them to the point where WVA goes for the pin, but UCLA pulls them off, and is all like "what?" & then WVA is all like "what?!" And as they're arguing, Northern Iowa hits UCLA with the brass knuckles, and rolls up WVA for the pin, and the three count.

Winner: Northern Iowa

Now on to the actual tourney:

1. Duke / 16. Northern Iowa
After an hard fought victory in the play-in game, Duke just overpowers Northern Iowa and their 5 returning starters. The Panthers make an impression on the rest of the country though, by staying with Duke in the 1st half, and showing just how improved the Missouri Valley conference is. Duke goes inside to Sheldon Williams for most of the game, and he finishes with 28 points 11 rebounds. J.J Reddick sat for the last 5 minutes of the 2nd half, but still finished 21 points.

Final Score: Duke 91 N.Iowa 71

8. Boston College / 9. Memphis
Boston College comes in looking to avenge their loss to Milwaukee-Wisconsin last year, but they run into a flat-out more talented team in Memphis. Point guard Darius Washington Jr ends up with 17 points and 6 assists, and Rodney Carney ends up with 17 as well. BC is one and done for the second year in a row, but unfortunately for all of us, Jared Dudley will return for one more ugly year. Sorry, but with Charlie Villanueva gone, it will take the combined efforts of guys like Dudley, Josh Boone, and Adam Morrison to keep up the ugly.

Final Score: Memphis 79 Boston College 71

5. Gonzaga / 12. Nevada
In a matchup of star forwards, Adam Morrison out duels Nick Fazekas. Gonzaga had a great Maui tournament, and showed they are a powerhouse this year. Nevada is a very good team, but nobody Gonzaga's Gonzaga.

Final Score: Gonzaga 75 Nevada 69

4. Villanova / 13. Iowa
Villanova finished strong last year, and even with Curtis Sumpter out, they still have a very good frontcourt to go with what is possibly the best backcourt in the nation. Iowa will be back strong, despite Pierre Pierce graduating. Jeff Horner is very good at running the point, and Greg Bruner is solid down low. Sill, villanova's talent is just too much for the Hawkeyes. 'Nova wins in a close one.

Final Score: 'Nova 76 Iowa 13

6. Louisville / 11. Oklahoma
Somewhat of an upset, as the lower-seeded Sooners beat the Cardinals, but both teams are about even. The tandem of Taj Gray and Kevin Bookout edge out Taquan Dean and Juan Palacios. When asked about the loss after the game, coach Rick Pitino states, "Francisco Garcia is coming through that door... Reece Gaines isn't coming through that door!"

Final Score: Oklahoma 65 Louisville 57

3. Texas / 14. Arizona
'Zona had a good regular season, with Mustafa Shakur and Hassan Adams stepping up to replace Salim Stoudamire and Channing Frye, but c'mon... Have you seen Texas? As my man Stu Scott would say, "Dem kids be doin' all kindsa shizzle wit' Pookie & Ray-Ray & dem...umm... BOOYAH!" No matter how you look at it, Texas has one of the top 3 frontcourts in the country, and Daniel Gibson is a true playmaker. LaMarcus Aldridge could be the breakout player of the year.

Final Score: Texas 80 'Zona 67

7. Michigan State / Kentucky
Even though they did embarress themselves against Hawaii, Michigan State still has as good a chance as anyone at capturing the NCAA title. Kentucky is one of the better shooting teams around, which will make them tough to beat in tournament play, but Tom Izzo will have his boys ready. State wins in OT.

Final Score Michigan State 94 Kentucky 90 OT

2. UConn / 15. George Washington
G-Dub is a sleeper team that is returning a lot of talent. Obviously though, they stand no chance. NEXT ROUND!

Final Score: UConn 78 G-Dub 60
______________________________________________________________________

1. Duke / 9. Memphis
A rematch of a very exciting game last night. Same result, as the Dukies get the win, but Memphis puts a scare into them.

Final Score: Duke 83 Memphis 81

5. Gonzaga / 4.Villanova
In what would be the game of the tournament, Gonzaga shows why they're so dangerous in the tournament, and beats 'Nova in a classic. Adam Morrison builds his case for tourney MVP, while Allen Ray keeps the cats close with his lights out shooting. Sadly, this will end another Philly teams quest for a title... but what else is new?

Final Score: Gonzaga 87 Villanova 84

3. Texas / 11. Oklahoma
A Big 12 dogfight. Oklahoma hopes to fare a little better than their football team, but it ain't gonna happen. Texas gets carried by Daniel Gibson, in a game where he elevates himself as the undisputed best point guard in college basketball.

Final Score: Texas 71 Oklahoma 63

2. UConn / 7. Michigan State
I wouldn't give the Spartans much of a chance here. They're going up against a guy who can't be guarded in Rudi Gay (quit giggling), and they'll have Marcus Williams back by now, who is one of the top passers in the country to dish him the ball. Seriously, if Rudi Gay be more consistent, I can see this team losing.

Final Score: UConn 77 Michigan State 66
________________________________________________________________________________

FINAL FOUR

1. Duke / 5. Gonzaga
The fun stops here, when the 'Zags run into the the Blue devils. Coach Mike Krzyeweficheskitonwing gets to another final, and J.J Redick gets a chance to go out on top... but will it happen *dum dum dum*

Final Score: Duke 74 Gonzaga 68

2. UConn / 3. Texas
Like I said before, if Rudi Gay is more consistent, I can't see UConn losing. And I think Gay will be consistent. Like a virus attacking your immune system... Yep... Gay is like a virus... ain't that right, your holiness?

Final Score: UConn 71 Texas 67

__________________________________________________________________________________

1. Duke / 2. UConn
And then there were two... You probably know who I'm going with here. UConn is my pick to win it all. Is there even a point to play the season now that I'be predicted the Huskies would win? Can we just give 'em the title and move on to next year?

Final Score: UConn 87 Duke 79

Thursday, November 24, 2005

DEGENERATE GAMBLERS WEEK 12


STOP THE MADNESS

It is officially make or break week here in the depths of dispairville. I am going out with a bang, or make the mother of all rallies. We here at Sunny Acres recommend the following.

Bet more than you can afford on a Carolina team that will have a HUGE offensive game against a Buffalo team that can't find its identity. We are laying 3.5 for $330.00

I pocketed my meds again last night, they still haven't found the tin foil hat I sleep in. It is the only way to keep the voices out. San diego has found itself in a MUST win game, now that Denver has won (failed to lose) due to a Billy Cundiff missed field goal late in the 4th quarter on Gobbleday. Washington seems to have fallen back to earth, and is relying on its defense TOO MUCH. They wont shut down LT2 & co. Drop $330.00 on San Diego giving 3

Good news for St. Louis fans, Bulger is hurt again. That means a balanced offense, with Stephen Jackson actually getting to preform his job this week. Houston couldn't stop my grandmother on 3 consecutive plays, even if they knew our snap count. $330.00 says St. Louis runs past a Houston team with a 3.5 point head start.

DESPERATE PLAY OF THE WEEK
7 point tease+++++++++
CAR +3.5
SD +4
ST.L+3.5
NYG +11.5
The above will be a $300.00 risk, with a $600.00 reward.


FOR THE SEASON
My 16-25-2 record has cost me $1420.00. Looks like I will be hawking newspapers at 5:oo AM on a nearby highway on ramp, or turning tricks on syphallitic heroin addicts in the seedier adult clubs around Boston.

Keep your eyes peeled, I might be lurking in your neighborhood soon.

WINDOW LICKERS PICK-EM WEEK 12 GOBBLE GOBBLE


Notice the image above. That is the handy work of our wordsmith Wikkidpissah, so you see what we are dealing with here. You just know your in trouble when they have a teleyhon named after you, huh Wikkid.




Hello friends, welcome to another Thanksgiving. A day that brings joy to all of us, for it has come to represent the rule of Gs

GAMBLING
GIBLETS
GRAVEY
GIMLETS

Last week we couldn't find our arses with both hands, as 10-6 won out, but I have a feelin this week a major player will emerge.

Last weeks results
WIKKID 9-7 (102-58)
JIMED 9-7 (100-60)
AHELME 9-7 (99-61)
WETBOAT 10-6 97-63)
GBIN 10-6 (96-64)
CREEK 8-8 (92-68)

On to this weeks selections

WIKKID
ATL W
DEN W
MIN W
KC W
TEN W
STL W
SD W
CAR W
CHI W
CIN W
OAK L
SEA W
JAX W
PHI W
NYJ L
IND W
////////

JIMED

ATL W
DAL L
CLE L
NE L
TEN W
STL W
SD W
CAR W
CHI W
CIN W
OAK L
SEA W
JAX W
PHI W
NO W
IND W
////////

WETBOAT

DET L
DEN W
CIN W
CAR W
TB L
MIN W
KC W
SD W
TEN W
STL W
JAX W
OAK L
PHI W
SEA W
NYJ L
IND W
////////

CREEK

ATL W
DEN W
STL W
KC W
MIN W
CAR W
CHI W
CIN W
SD W
SF L
MIA W
JAX W
PHI W
SEA W
NYJ L
IND W
////////

GBIN

ATL W
DAL L
CIN W
TB L
CLE L
KC W
SD W
TEN W
STL W
JAX W
OAK L
GB L
SEA W
NO W
IND W
////////

Professor Ellis D Trails Week Twelve Syllabus




A brief lesson on Tryptophan
Tryptophan is an essential amino acid that must be obtained from the diet. The unusual indole side chain of tryptophan is also the nucleus of the important neurotransmitter serotonin, which is biosynthesized from tryptophan. The aromatic portion of tryptophan also serves as an ultraviolet marker for detection of this amino acid either separately, or incorporated into proteins and enzymes, via ultraviolet spectrophotometry. Tryptophan is incorporated into proteins and enzymes at the molar rate of 1.1 percent compared to other amino acids making it the rarest amino acid found in proteins.



Now that you are all stuffed from your annual gorging, you can sit back relax and reflect in the glow that is Fantasy Football. Once again you have put your faith in the Professor and I don’t intend on letting you down. Now begins the time for teams to make their respective runs to the fast approaching playoffs. Teams either show their true colors during this period or they run into hiding like a Texans fan on Sunday. You will find who has the balls and who lies down. After this week, the picture should be clearer, but in this day and age, still murky at best.

Sunday, Nov. 27

BAL @ CIN, 1:00 pm
Baltimore is coming off their biggest win of the year against Pittsburgh. It was a one dimensional Pittsburgh team they faced with Tommy Maddox. Carson looked great against Indy and loves to play the ravens. This one could get ugly.

Chester Taylor – Has overtaken J-Lew and has proven that he deserves the starting job.

Carson Palmer – He has owned Baltimore is his young career.
Chad Johnson – He is a great compliment to Carson
Cincinnati Defense – These guys could create a lot of opportunities for the offense with a short field.

STL @ HOU, 1:00 pm
Marc Bulger was hurt again and this one is a little more serious than the first one. Now the Rams are going to have to ride the arm of Jaime Martin in order to make the playoffs. I am a Holt owner and I feel the pain. They get lucky by facing the Texans, but unlucky that they are playing at Houston. They pretty much have to win out to have a shot at a playoff berth, with losses to SF and Arizona, that doesn’t seem likely.

Torry Holt – How much will the loss of Bulger hurt Holt? In the times that Martin has started he has favored Bruce. However against Houston everyone should thrive.
Stephen Jackson – Houston gives up the most fantasy points to RB’s in the league. They are pitiful. I have seen better tackling in pee wee leagues.
Isaac Bruce – He looked real good last week and finally looks healthy from the dreaded turf toe. Start him with confidence.

Andre Johnson – If he was going to come around at all, it would be this week against a STL pass defense that is the worst in the league in giving up points to wide receivers.

CAR @ BUF, 1:00 pm
Carolina is a schizophrenic team. They have a good record but the best team they have beaten was Tampa. With losses to New Orleans, Miami and beating the likes of Minnesota, Green Bay, Arizona, the Jets and Detroit( by only one point), I’m not sure if this team can hang. We’ll see as they have two games against division opponent Atlanta coming and a rematch with Tampa. Their schedule is a lot easier than I thought. Buffalo’s pass defense decided last week to join its run defense in being awful. This team is actually getting worse as the season progresses. Loseman is not an NFL quarterback.

Stephen Davis – He might find the end zone this week, I just don't think he will. The panthers have had a lot of trouble putting it in the endzone.
Steve Smith – I was playing a team last week that had Steve Smith and when I saw how low the score was, I was sure Smith got nothing. Hmmm, 14/169. WOW. I lost by one point. He is one of the best in the league at getting separation.

Willis McGahee – He showed last week that he was not deserved of his high preseason ranking. He just seems to not be able to get it done against strong rush defenses. This week he faces the third best, you do the math.

SF @ TEN, 1:00 pm
San Fran almost upset Seattle last week and that just goes to show you that division games are usually close. This one is not a division game. Tennessee blows them away.

Ken Dorsey – This guy showed me something last week, that he can actually play football. That pass to Lloyd was awesome.
Brandon Lloyd – He is really the only option in this offense. That isn’t saying much, but still.

Steve McNair – He has definitely disappointed many this year who thought that because he was healthy, he would blow up. He hasn’t sucked, but he hasn’t performed either.
He should do well against a defense that as soon as someone comes back from injury another guy goes down.
Chris Brown – He will show why he is the number one back in Tennessee.

NE @ KC, 1:00 pm
I feel for New England this year, ok no I don’t, I love it. Bill Belichik is not the supreme master that he is given credit for and when you lose two major coordinators it is going to hurt. People will talk about injuries, give me a break, there have been so many injuries this year that is not a viable excuse. It looks like Trent is starting to find a rhythm in the passing game, finally. Now he goes against a pass defense that only gives up fewer points to quarterbacks than the 49ers.

Trent Green – He will exploit a once great defense in an embarrassing manner. I can’t wait.
Larry Johnson – This guy is a superstar. I knew it when he was running for the Nittany Lions. He was the only option there behind a good line and still got 200 yards a game. If you are in a keeper, hold on to this cat.
Eddie Kennison – He turned it on towards the end of last year and, if last week was any inclination of things to come, then start him with conviction.

CHI @ TB, 1:00 pm
Chicago has a great defense. Too bad their offense is pathetic. Muhammed plays like he forgets where to run and when he actually catches the ball, he seems to run at defenders instead of away from them. Tampa is clutch right now. A two pointer to win one week and then a field goal on the road the next to win. Gruden is smiling in Tampa and Simms is playing like his poppy.

Thomas Jones – Tampa hasn’t been playing against the run like they were earlier in the year. If the Bears don’t get down too early then he could do well.

Chris Simms – He comes back to earth against a Bears Defense that can hit like trucks.
Joey Galloway – He’ll probably get a score this week. He has my vote for comeback player of the year, even over Steve Smith.

SD @ WAS, 1:00 pm
When San Diego wins, they average winning by nineteen points. When they lose they lose by an average of three points. They could easily be 8-2 and need to get their pass defense in order if they have hopes of playing with the big boys. Washington has lost three out of four and are playing more like they were predicted to at the beginning of the year. They need to start winning.

LT – The Skins are giving up about a hundred yards per game and a touchdown this season to opposing running backs, match that with the fact the LT didn’t have a spectacular game last week and SA did. Look out D.C.
Antonio Gates – Owners of this stud gasped when he was carted to the LOCKERROOM last week, but it looks as though they were just being precautionary. He might not have that big of a week, but if he plays, you have to start him.
Drew Brees – He won’t have anywhere near the week that he did last week.

Mark Brunell – Since scoring 30 points in my league against the Niners, he has averaged fewer than ten a game. I said watch for the decline of this guy and it seems to be happening just like I predicted.
Clinton Portis - Only Denver has given up less yards to RB’s than San Diego. Sorry Portis, you won’t have much success this week.
Santana Moss – Averaged 24 points a game during the first six and averaged 10 during the last four. As Brunell goes, so does Moss.

CLE @ MIN, 1:00 pm
Cleveland shocked the shit out of me last week. Mostly due to the performance of Droughns against Miami. They made Gus look awful and Sage even worse. That was not that difficult. Minnesota has been hot right now and if Moore can continue to play like he does than Minnesota should be able to take this one. Although their coach is Mike Tice, which means I predict a loss.

Charlie Frye – He looked pretty good at the end of the game on Sunday aside from that INT. He won’t start, but I think he gets a chance to throw on a weak pass defense that misses Fred Smoot.
Rueben Droughns – He should be able to smash this defense, but I said the same thing last week for the Packers.

Brad Johnson – He couldn’t drive a car against an competing defense. He needs to retire. Where is Randall Cunningham when you need him.
Mewelde Moore – He is a playmaker with ability that Bennett wishes he possessed.
Jermaine Wiggins – He is surprisingly nimble for a big guy. His blocking is dreadful, but his hands are soft.

MIA @ OAK, 4:05 pm
This team needs a quarterback. Gus Frerotte is more inconsistent than a generic pregnancy test. They would be better of running the entire game. That and if McMichael could catch a fucking ball. Oakland racks up the yards and keeps losing. They did put a nice defensive effort against Washington, but Kerry is not a clutch player.

Ronnie Brown – He is going to be good, if this team ever finds a quarterback
Randy McMichael – I keep saying he is due every week, but Oakland has only allowed 1 TE touchdown all year. I am still going to start him, but my only other option is Pollard with Joey “ I suck” Harrington throwing him the ball.

Kerry Collins – He got lucky that Miami’s defense got bit by the injury bug last week or he might have thrown 10 interceptions. Three is not out of the question.
Lamont Jordan – I honestly thought that Lamont didn’t have it in him to make it through a full season as a number one back. I know the season is not over, but he has outperformed the levels that I set for him.
Randy Moss – Remember he said that Kerry is a better quarterback than Culpepper, I think he might want to take that back. Randy made Jeff George look good. It’s almost time for Randy to officially give up.
Jerry Porter – This guy has actually started playing football the way he did a couple of years ago. I don’t see the trend continuing.

JAC @ ARI, 4:05 pm
Jacksonville is another team of many in this league of parity. They beat teams like Cincinnati, Seattle and Pittsburgh, but lose to the Rams and barely beat the Titans. They have a strength in their defense and can play with Indy if their offense can get it together. They could surprise some if they don’t choke along the way. Arizona is an appallingly bad team, however they do play better at home and if the Jaguars are not careful, they could be upset this week.

Byron Leftwich – Arizona played better against the pass early in the year, but not so good lately. If Jacksonville is to win this game, it will be on the arm of Byron.

Kurt Warner – He has had three strong games in a row, save the INT’s against Seattle. He loves his WR corp. and so he should. He is a good play this week, even against a Jaguars team only allowing 176 passing yards per game.
Boldin/Fitzgerald – I don’t see why these two both can’t do well with Warner throwing the ball. Especially with Arizona trailing so many games.

NYG @ SEA, 4:15 pm
People say that the Giants pass defense is a weakness, but they have only given up nine TD passes all year, good for a tie for second in the league. Seattle on the other hand has given up 12 touchdowns passing and only has nine interceptions. Seattle can’t afford to lose this one if they want home field. Holmgren needs to ride his train and that train is Shaun Alexander

Eli Manning – He is a good play if he gets into a rhythm with Plaxico and Shockey.
Tiki Barber – People often underestimate the Seahawks play against the run, yet they only surrender 85 yards a game and only three rushing touchdowns all year. Tiki will get his yards from scrimmage, but most likely won’t find the endzone.
Plaxico Burress – He has been on a stretch for the past few weeks of having a good game followed by a bad one followed by a good one and so on. I think he’ll have a solid week though.

Matt Hasselback – He can prove this week that the Seahawks are the team to beat, but he would wiser to let his halfback do it.
Shaun Alexander – He is Shaun Alexander and he might break the touchdown record this year, if Holmgren’s passing balls don’t swell up too much.
Darrell Jackson – He looks to be one more week away.


GB @ PHI, 4:15 pm
My Eagles are having a bad season, so it happens to the best of them. It happened to New England in between Super Bowls. It’s ok. I just hate the fact that I have to sit through these games. Green Bay seems like a team that is lost. Brett needs to let go. They have been completely decimated by injury and need to start looking to the future. It is futile to continue down the road they are going. They drafted Rodgers, now let him play when the games mean nothing.

Brett Favre – With the way the Eagle’s defense has been playing lately, I bet I could thrown for 250 and a couple of TD’s against them
Donald Driver – He has stepped up admirably in the face of injuries, but he can’t do it all by himself.

Mike McMahon – If the Eagles would play shotgun the entire game, then McMahon might be an option. He has Reggie Brown who has been the best WR draft pick by the Eagles in a long time.
Reggie Brown – The only deep threat on the field when the Eagles are on offense.
Brian Westbrook – He is a top performer and I will love to steal him late in drafts next year.
LJ Smith – He seemed to gain a nice rapport with McMahon during the Giants game.

NO @ NYJ, 8:30 pm
The Saints have tried to display courage in a season on the road. The Jets are a poorly run organization. These two juggernauts collide this week in New Jersey. This one should be a snooze fest to say the least.

Antowain Smith/ Aaron Stecker – The Jets run defense is putrid. The Saints should have no problem controlling the clock against them.
Aaron Brooks – the lone bright spot on the Jets is their pass defense. It’s a shame that the Saints shouldn’t need to pass against them.

NY Jets QB – Nobody is worth playing
Curtis Martin – How fast can you go from the rushing champ to fantasy free agency, ask Curtis.
Laveranues Coles – He must be kicking himself for leaving Washington.

Monday, Nov. 28

PIT @ IND, 9:00 pm
Does anybody remember last year when New England was rolling through the league and went into Pittsburgh and laid an egg. Well I'm sure Indianapolis does. You see, the theory is that no team can go undefeated and I am a firm believer in that philosophy with any normal team. Indianapolis is not a normal team. Peyton is a Coach, Coordinator and Leader on that Offense. He is a motivator. This team has so many facets that can be at times impossible to be dealt with. Punter Hunter Smith has 28 punts in ten games, that in itself is amazing. The next closest is Cincinatti with 39.

Ben Roethlisberger – If Pitt has wants any chance to win this game, he has to play. There is no way Batch or Maddox leads them to victory over the Colts.
Hines Ward – They are going to need a spectacular game from him to win. I know Pitt wins games by running the football and they are going to need that to keep the ball away from Indy, but to score they are going to have to be able to throw the ball.

Peyton Manning – This will be his toughest test since throwing a 4 against Jacksoville in Week 2. The Steelers will have to contain him and are one of the only teams with the capabilities of doing so. Translating that to the field is a whole different story. I don't think he has a monster game this week and will need to rely heavily on the run to control and win the game.
Edgerrin James – This guy is a monster. After having to deal with tragedy with the death of his brother, he has played like a beast and those who are nervous that he will sit during the fantasy playoffs shouldn’t fret. He will get his.
Marvin Harrison – He hasn’t scored a touchdown in only three games this year. Marvin is still the man in Indy.

Top 10 Week 12 QB’s

1. Carson Palmer
2. Peyton Manning
3. Tom Brady
4. Brett Favre
5. Matt Hasselback
6. Trent Green
7. Eli Manning
8. Steve McNair
9. Kurt Warner
10. Byron Leftwich

Top 10 Week 12 RB’s

1. Shaun Alexander
2. Larry Johnson
3. LaDanian Tomlinson
4. Edgerrin James
5. Lamont Jordan
6. Steven Jackson
7. Brian Westbrook
8. Warrick Dunn
9. Tiki Barber
10. Chris Brown

Top 10 Week 12 WR’s

1. Steve Smith
2. Chad Johnson
3. Larry Fitzgerald
4. Torry Holt
5. Santana Moss
6. Randy Moss
7. Plaxico Burress
8. Hines Ward
9. Marvin Harrison
10. Donald Driver

Top Week 12 TE’s

1. The usual characters

Sleeper of the Week
Andre Johnson – This guy has put together two pretty solid weeks in a row and this week he faces a weak STL defense. He could possibly find the endzone for the first time all year.

Bust of the Week
Willis McGahee – I said in the beginning of the year that this sucka was not worthy of a top ten pick and so far I have been vindicated. McGahee has had trouble as of late. I don’t know if that is due to the fact that Holcombe is not playing or because teams are just playing better defense. It seems that defenses are able to stack 8 men or more in the box and are begging Losman to beat them in the air, which he has been less than able. The Panthers will be hungry after a loss last week to the Bears, so for the second week in a row I recommend sitting McGahee.

Well, I hope that your holiday goes well and your fantasy games go even better. I must run as I have a class to teach on the effects of psychoactives on the human brain whilst succumbing to the rigors of fantasy sports. Study hard and stay on track.

As always, go with your gut and don’t look back.

………..Professor Ellis D Trails.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Thanksgiving Day Games




His Goose err Turkey is cooked

On to this year's festive feat accompanied by a couple of NFL games

Thanksgiving

It’s time to give thanks for all that has been bestowed upon us. Well, this season has offered little for often thankless fantasy owners to be “thankful” for. So I give some recognition for those that may be scurrying to save a lost season due to injury, lineup mistakes, too many risky picks or just plain draft ignorance

I am thankful for Carson Palmer, for otherwise I may be looking toward next year’s draft so early in this season. Finally, Cincinnati drafts a quarterback that can actually perform on the field.
I am thankful for earplugs. Sports analysts have become so contrite. I remember the days of intelligent and concise commentary. Now there is so much ego stroking and over analytical banter that I often wonder how these people can be paid to speak for a living.
I am thankful for the opportunity to express my thoughts and opinions on both football and fantasy in general.
I am thankful for the information superhighway. For without it, I would have to hand calculate box scores on Monday and Tuesday, while still incurring the unending questions about individual team scores. There was never any work getting done those days.
I am thankful for Chris Mortensen, the man who has single handedly saved many a fantasy week for me. You are my hero. (I haven’t forgotten you GeeWill)
I am thankful for cheerleaders. Nufced.
I am thankful for that feeling you get while your fantasy points are being accumulated on Sunday.
I am thankful for ignorant morons that drop solid players because of one poor outing so that I can scoop them up with glee.
I am thankful for sports geniuses such as Bryan Lamb, it’s because of him that I can contribute like I do.
Lastly, I am thankful for Fantasy Football in general for breaking up a league that has become more watered down than a two dollar beer at happy hour, and a parity of what it used to be. Thank you Keith Jackson for creating Free Agency you selfish pig.

Turkey Day Games

ATL @ DET, 12:30 pm
Atlanta had one of their better games against Tampa in the Vick era but still lost. Ouch. If someone would have said to me at the beginning of the year, that at the eleven week mark, the Lions would have the same record as the Eagles, I would have said “Damn, the Lions are going to be that good.” How wrong I would have been. The first game of Thanksgiving 2005 shouldn’t be very exciting.

Michael Vick – Detroit is eighth best in the league at giving up points to quarterbacks and Vick had his second 300 yard game of his career. I don’t see a great game, but 17 total points isn’t asking too much
Warrick Dunn – The Lions are tenth worst in the league in giving up points to running backs and only the Jets and Bucs have given up more points in the last three weeks. Too bad Duckett takes all of the red zone touches or Dunn would be a top back.
TJ Duckett – Only worth a start in TD only leagues.

Joey Harrington – Atlanta is giving just over 200 yards and touchdown per game to opposing QB’s. Harrington is obviously not worth a start.
Kevin Jones – If Marriucci used him correctly he would go off this week. Too bad.
Marcus Pollard – Why did he sign with Detroit? Was he like, “Yeah, I’ll sign with Detroit, they are a contender. That is a team that is worth leaving Indianapolis.” That’s hilarious.

DEN @ DAL, 4:15 pm
Denver needed a win at home against the Jets before two tough upcoming road games and they got that win in a big way. They are looking strong and have the best shot at taking out Indianapolis on the road to the Superbowl. Dallas is an enigma. They could win this game, but probably won’t. I wish that Dallas would lose every single game.

Jake Plummer – He is due for a bad game. This is more of a gut call. He hasn’t thrown an interception since week two and Dallas has a good secondary.
Mike Anderson – He averages about 14 points a game and he’d be lucky to reach that this week.
Rod Smith – Safe play this week, safe play every week.

Drew Bledsoe – This guy is the Kerry Collins of the NFC – I see him doing ok at home, a couple of td’s and a couple of int’s.
Julius Jones – This guy can’t get it together. He will get the bulk of the carries, but his average will be poor.
Jason Witten – This guy is a strong play this week. I think he will go off.

I leave you this week with 6 games remaining on a schedule that has spanned eleven weeks thus far. This season has shown me that football is becoming more about complicated trickery than about the contact sport that it was meant to be. Coaches are making things so complicated that these young players have to be intelligent to thrive with the gifts that they are bestowed. True football players are almost non-existent in the modern era. There seems to be too much focus on making the money rather than on making the play. Can you blame the agents or the fan that shells out the dough to be “entertained” by their favorite team? I know that it is a violent sport getting more and more brutal as these “kids” get bigger and stronger. Inevitability only tells me that there will be a breaking point when injuries mount so high that there will be a need for some sort of regulation, what I cannot foresee. Until then, we must endure these pumped up iconic millionaires in order to partake in the game that we love.

I will post my top ten for positions during my normal Thursday post, it will be up before the Turkey games so no need to worry about the ranking of Plummer, Anderson, Vick and Dunn, Jones or Bledsoe, even KJ or Roy. Not that any will be there in the end.

Always go with your gut and don’t look back

Professor Ellis D Trails

Monday, November 21, 2005

NUFCED by wikkidpissah

The very best thing about NFL football is in danger of becoming the worst. With ten early games to watch with the end of bye season, I sat down to enjoy some quantity as an appetizer to the quality matchup between the top 2 offenses in the game (apology to USC). The most entertaining play of the day was the first – Reuben Droughns zigzagging his way to utter exhaustion and a 75 yard TD. I was then treated to forty quarters of purely awful football. That paucity of excellence was then underlined by the cornucopia of talent and execution that was the year’s most entertaining pro game, that between the Colts and Bengals. Often, during this fireworks display, I was reminded of Tiger Woods’ ’97 Masters when a commentator continually wondered if Tiger was indeed playing the same sport as his contemporaries.

The difference was huge and the difference was quarterbacking and, with the way youngsters are being groomed, I fear that gap to only widen in the forseeable future. With Peyton & Carson dueling each other and CPep & DMac out for the year, we had 14 games where QB incompetence, on one or both sides, was the most significant, if not determining factor in the game.

That is not likely to change for quite a while, for two reasons. One is the hypersophistication of the present-day game. With the algorhythmic interpretation of patterns by coordinators and the subsequent need for constant adjustments in sequencing, the game is overwhelming anymore to all but a freakish few. The other is that the out-of-whack financial value of young QBs causes them to be rushed into service at a time when the learning curve is more demanding by far than it has ever been. Get used to the cycle of brainfreeze-shellshock-ruin and hope that your home team is one of the half-dozen (at most) with an appropriately skilled and trained captain at the helm.

Well, that was hilarious. Let’s see if I can at least be a little entertaining as I look at this week’s action.

NE 24 NO 17
Well, now, the Pats’ offense is almost as decimated by injury as their defense. When the Saints are getting penetration on you, you’re in trouble. If the other teams in their division weren’t headed by the law firm of Loseman, Bollinger & Frerotte, any chance of playoffs would be out the window…Could Heath Evans be the Nick Goings of ’05? I really like the way this guy plays. I guess Auburn is now Running Back U (alums: SDavis – who Evans reminds me of a little -, Rudi J, Caddy, Ronnie Brown, Evans and Touchdown Brandon Jacobs)…meaningless 300+ yard games (as ABrooks had here) are becoming as common as the 9/20-112 variety.

DAL 20 DET 7
Proof that an old-fashioned ball-control game is still possible…Evidence that too many people are playing fantasy football: most-added QB this week, wait for it, Pal Joey…Anybody that thinks the draft is everything hasn’t been turned down offering KJones for Samkon Gado.

CLE 22 MIA 0
I’d like to thank everyone who helped me create the myth of the IMMORTAL SAGE ROSENFELS, but it’s time to move on to a good Iowa State QB. Those with a dynamic adjective for Seneca Wallace can reach me at www.nufced.com... Sticky Icky Ricky looked really good today. Of course, the fact that my new Least-Favorite-Coach was still trying to establish the run down by 22 pts helped…Charlie Frye showed me nothing in his mop-up debut.

CHI 13 CAR 3
Of course, comparing any Bears’ D to the 1985-6 clubs is idiocy, but I honestly can’t recall a defense more methodically hard-hitting than this one…Speaking of my powers of recollection, neither can I remember a diminutive WR having a better season than li’l Smitty…Coach Fox, would you please bench your #1-2 RBs for a game? You might find that NGoings is actually your answer.

TB 30 ATL 27
Congratulations, Falcons, Ron Mexico has finally discovered how to be a pocket QB. Oh, btw, you’re 0-2 since he has, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...Kudos to Coach Chucky for not buying into the one-game CSimms myth, but using the fact that their opponent did to open things up for Caddy again.

BAL 16 PGH 13 OT
Stinker-of-the-day, and that’s saying something on a day like this…Props to KBoller for guiding the Ravins to their 1st offensive TD in three games. I wouldn’t be surprised if he achieved two or three more before the season is thru.

OAK 16 WASH 13
JPorter is as good as he wants to be. Not wanting to be as bad a slacker as Randy the Great appears to have brought something out in him…MBrunell looked very, very very tired in the 2nd ha…zzzzz…in the 2nd half of…zzzzz…in the 2nd half of this game.

JAX 30 TEN 27
Titans are my favorite 2-8 team of all time. Totally overmatched, they play with spirit and fun and never give up. Coach Fisher is doing a better job this year than with his championship contenders of a few yrs ago…Prediction: Lefty will NEVER win a playoff game. Shame, too, because has has two verrry exciting young talents at WR.

AZ 38 STL 28
Can’t beat a good homecoming…must confess that the Indy-Cincy game was too good to watch much of the other late action, so I’d REALLY like to know how SJax went 12/6 against da freakin Cards…dunno if you can put 5 better WRs on the field than those in this matchup.

NYG 27 PHI 17
Pick up MikeMac, pick him up NOW. If they go permanently to the shotgun they used in their last drive, he becomes not only a good QB (he improved as the game progressed) but their best RB. Also, he & LJ had it goin on…Watching BJake go 0-for-3 from the one-yd-line gave me a Ron Dayne flashback.

SEA 27 SF 25
He’d have to have a Fantastic Four type of elasticity to hold up, but Ken Dorsey is a professional QB. His 44-yarder to BLloyd was a thing of beauty…Frank Gore got hurt on the occasion of his coming-out party, as he seemingly has every year of his football career…Big Shaun’s unconscious level of performance is masking the fact that the Hawks are still a weakass road team.

SD 48 BUF 10
How the hell do the Bolts score 48 without LT2 being a major factor – I guess the Bills’ vaunted (what the hell does that word actually mean, anyways) pass D has gone the way of their O & run D…getting reeeal tired of watching a genuine talent like LEvans try to run back on, catch up to & hitchhike a ride from the offerings of the recondite bums throwing to him.

DEN 27 NYJ 0
I don’t know if I can live in a world where Jake Plummer is an elite QB…All you need know about this game? 1st half time of possession Den 25:00 NYJ 5:00.

IND 45 CIN 37
Beautiful, beautiful ball game. I find it hard to like Peyton Manning, but he may be the most singular talent in sport today. Never seen as much go on in an athlete’s head as was in his on this day. He was not only QB, Off. Coord. and Coach of the game, but appeared to be writing ad copy for his next endorsement and solving the wormhole portal problem necessary to time travel…Scary thing is, tho Palmer’s ceiling doesn’t appear as high as PMan’s, he’s much farther along in this stage of his career than his opponent was…Stupid call of the day: Bengals running a deep sweep to the short side of the field on a game-deciding 4th & 1...Colts will join the ’73 Dolphins as undefeated team this year. Only thing that causes me to doubt that: in the 9 quarters they have faced upper tier QBs (Brady, Bulger, Palmer) this season, they’ve given up 710 yds & 6 TD’s. Still, I don’t think anyone can keep up with them when they’re trying. Nufced.

KC 45 HOU 17
The world order is just wrong when I’m unemployed & Dom Capers isn’t…I spent most of the preseason ridiculing those reaching high to handcuff LJ to Priest but, in my last (& only keeper) draft, I caved when all the WRs I keyed were chosen in front of me and picked him up in the 5th round. Thank God for moral inconsistency!

All in all, one tremendous game amidst the worst week of football I can remember. Gonna spend this turkey of a week working out the QB conundrum, wormholes and my mancrush on dreamy genius Bryanlamb. Happy & safe Thanksgiving, everybody. Play hard -

Sunday, November 20, 2005

WETBOAT'S SUNDAY MUSINGS, WEEK 11


The Chicago Bears' practice facility.



FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

If the future of our country depends on offensive linemen slugging it out between games, then I suggest the FBI open a special office in Soldier Field in Chicago.

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

The excitement in fantasy football circles over Samkon Gado is legit. 105 yards and 3 TD's last week will get you notice on top of the 62 and 1 the week before, especially if you're set to be the starting RB for the rest of the season. Plus, Samkon Gado has been getting an extra boost in his stock than he would have gotten if his name was Joe Smith.

What's more, after Monday night's game against the Love Boats (forecast: snow and below freezing), the Packers' schedule gets harder: they play Philly, Chicago (twice), Detroit (solid run D) and Baltimore. Like I told you about Favre a week ago, trade Gado now.

Did you know his middle name is Kaltho? Thought you should know.

WHAT'S IN A NAME, PART II

While we're on the subject of exotic and interesting names, check out the full name of the Dolphins' starter at QB today: Sage Jamen Bodhi Rosenfels.

Sage's sisters are named Jaia and Jaffa.

There's even money involved -- I came across this interesting tidbit: "The Ultimate Sage Rosenfels Football Experience: The Dolphins third string QB Sage Rosenfels can be hired for high school graduations, corporate events, birthday parties, bar and bat mitzvahs, personal training advice or even to watch Monday Night Football in your living room with you and your buddies." This was found at http://www.sportsfilter.com/comments.cfm/3297

KURT WARNER RETURNS TO ST. LOUIS

Kurt Warner's fall from grace the last few years has been nothing short of extraordinary, in the context of the amazing seasons he had with the St. Louis Rams at the turn of the century (note: I SAID "turn of the century"). With the Giants and now with the Cardinals, Warner has had great difficulty finding the form he found in St. Louis, even with an able set of receivers in Amani Toomer, Ike Hilliard, Anquan Boldin, and Larry Fitzgerald.

I really think it's his thumb. It's never been 100% since he broke it.

When he returns to St. Louis today as the starting quarterback of the Arizona Cardinals, you can be sure he'll get a standing ovation. No matter what happens from now on, it should be a very fitting tribute when the Rams retire his number 13.

And be nice to his wife, please.

Friday, November 18, 2005

On The Hash... Marks (By Creek)

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There's only one game I'll be picking this weekend, because there is only one game that matters.

Michigan 20 Ohio State 16

Hail to the victors...

DEGENERATE GAMBLERS WEEK 11

Short & sweet this week folks. Uncle Sugar has summoned me to another 5 days of Military training.

I went 2-2 last week, for a LOSS of $100.00

For the season I am 15-22-2 against the number, for a net loss of $990.00

This weeks wagers.
Car-3 for $220.00
Sea-12.5 for $220.00
KC-6.5 for $110.00

As always, tease them for 6 points for $100.00
Car+3
SEA-6.5
KC-.5

WINDOW LICKERS PICK-EM WEEK 11



See Creek, at the tender age of 3. This is from our last family reunion. Even then, he was training for King of the Creeps.

It's not often in todays society that we embrace the promiscuity of our parents, but Creek's mom sat for a full body casting, ensuring the shut-ins & sexual deviants across America would have a place to park their pork.

On to the picks.

Last week was like a Saturday at any Golf tournement, Moving day.

While Wikkid struggled to make par after par, I was able to scramble all day, snatching valuable wins in the seasons race. I gained a modest 2 wins on him this week, closing the gap to a mere 2 points, leaping over AHELMS in the process.

For the record

WIKKID 8-6 (93-51)

JIMED 10-4 (91-53)

AHELMS 8-6 (90-54)

WETBOAT 8-6 (87-57)

GBIN 10-4 (86-58)

CREEK 8-6 (84-60)

THIS WEEKS SELECTIONS.

JIMED

CAR L

JAX W

IND W

NE W

STL L

ATL L

WASH L

DAL W

NYG W

MIA L

SEA W

SD W

DEN W

PITT L

KC W

GB L

////////

AHELMS

STL L

DAL W

JAX W

NE W

NYG W

CHI W

MIA L

WASH L

ATL L

PITT L

SEA W

CIN L

DEN W

SD W

KC W

GB L

////////

WIKKID

DAL W

JAX W

CAR L

MIA L

WASH L

ATL L

NE W

NYG W

PITT L

SEA W

SD W

DEN W

INDY W

KC W

GB L

////////

GBin

stl L
car L
dal W
jax W
clev W
ne W
oak W
nyg W
pit L
atl L
sea W
sd W
cin L
den W
kc W
gb L

//////

WETBOAT

St L L

Dal W

Jax W

New England W

NY Giants W

Chicago W

Miami L

Wash L

Atl L

Bal W

Sea W

Cin L

Den W

S D W

KC W

GB L

/////

creek

Was L
Mia L
Pit L
Dal W
Jac W
Stl L
NE W
Phi L
Atl L
Car L
Sea W
Den W
SD W
Ind W
Kc W
GBL

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Professor Ellis D Trails Week 11 Syllabus

I am appalled. I watched the entire Monday Night game and for 56:20, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Then I was dealt a blow that was all too familiar. I recalled 1992, watching the Eagles/Packers game. The Venerable Brett Favre was in his first full season under center. There they were up by seven, 24-17 and at the Packers ten. Heath Shuler seemed destined to take it in for insurmountable 14-point lead. Then, as fate has done so often, that I should have predicted it coming swooped down and took the heart from my chest. Heath Shuler fumbled the ball and an apparently meaningless turnover occurred. I mean, there was only just over two minutes left and the Birds were up by seven. The game was over, right. No, the Packers drove down for a game tying TD with under a minute to play. The Packers then kicked off, and at least we had overtime to deal with, or so I thought. Instead of running out the final minute, The Mike Tice-esque Rich Kotite decided to run the ball with Herschel Walker. As the ball fell from Walker’s arms, I think I laughed in pain, as if the Eagles had a chance to recover. Inevitably, Chris Jacke kicked the game winning FG with seconds remaining as the loss was sealed. That was the worst feeling I have ever had after an Eagle’s loss in my life up until Monday night.

I absolutely hate the Cowboys. I am not a proponent of hate, but I detest that lone star and everything it stands for. I flashed back to every moment where providence had left me sour. Randall getting popped by Bryce Paup in the year we were supposed to take it all with the best defense of all time. The next season to have Randall back, but Jerome Brown dying prior to the season took the anchor and leader of the defense away from where he belonged. Rodney Peete throwing an interception in overtime and laughing as the Giants returned it for a game winning TD. I couldn’t stop my mind from overflowing with images of lost moments and being left with a constant ache that could be felt into the pit of my gut.

There is one thing that I have learned from these frequent moments of torment. That would be how to recover. They flashed up a stat that epitomizes Philadelphia. It has been 22 years since this city has won a championship and that makes it the longest stretch that a major market has gone since winning a championship. Some cities have teams that don’t win. All of our teams don’t win. This is the main reason for my cynical, but realistic view of the sports world. Because every time I get my hopes up, they are crushed like the proverbial bug. Finally, no matter how much as I am crushed and no matter how much my dreams vanish before my eyes, I am a Philadelphian and I will never abandon my Team. That is what holds my dear city together. Some may ask why would you put up with so much disappointment? The answer is simple, for the love of the game and the enjoyment encompassing it all. Now that I have vented my frustration, I will put that memory with all of the others to be locked away until the next foreseeable event the curse brings upon us all.

Now, onto a more positive note. Sit down and take notes. Get ready for Week 11.

PHI @ NYG
Obviously, I am still feeling the effects of Monday Night. Why did they throw on third down? Run 3 times and make Dallas use all of their TO’s, (no pun intended) and then have to go the length of the field on their defense. WOW. Talk about pulling a Mike Tice. I got mad respect for you Andy, but that was pathetic. The Giants lost to the Vikings at home. Talk about the sun shining on a dog’s ass on Sunday.

McNabb out, McMahon in. McEagles will McLose. McBench all McStarters short of McWestbrook
Brian Westbrook – In the face of adversity, he still plays with fire and puts up notable fantasy numbers especially in ppr leagues. I wouldn’t sit him.

Eli Manning – Should have a field day with his defense dominating the Birds all day
Tiki Barber – He is a known Eagle killer. Must Start.
Plaxico Burress – His height will give him an advantage over the Eagles “Pro Bowlers” in the defensive backfield
Jeremy Shockey – Eagles usually give up points to TE’s. He should have a good day, but the TD’s are going to Barber or the wide outs

ARI @ STL
The Rams lost a key game at Seattle and now must pile on the wins. Arizona in the dome is a good way to start. This is the return of Kurt Warner to his old stomping grounds. It will be as he left it, with the Rams beating the lowly Cardinals.

Kurt Warner – Makes his return to the place of his glory. He will perform as usual and lose as usual.
Anquan Boldin – If he returns, he might not be a strong play as Warner has found his threat in Fitzgerald.
Larry Fitzgerald – Kurt’s main man and in line for another big game, even if most of his stats come in garbage time like last week.

Marc Bulger – Couldn’t get on track in the rain last week and still put up pretty good numbers. He should smash the Cardinals. 350 and 2 TD’s
Steven Jackson – He will move the chains but won’t see the end zone at least he won’t on the ground.
Torry Holt – Rams need a win, i.e. Big Game. See Torry’s Nickname and that is what you will see
Isaac Bruce – He is still out there, not as a decoy but, similarly, to take pressure off of Holt and allowing the main man to do what he does best. He could get 60 and a score.

NO @ NE
Both Superbowl teams of last year are struggling. Welcome to the NFL of Today. NE will still beat the team with no home. Honestly, the Saints don’t have enough talent to continue this overwhelmingly demoralizing season. They have replaced their team song with Home on the Road to music of Home on the Range
"Oh give me a dome, where the Saints can call home, and the teams that have talent can play. Where seldom is seen an offensive scheme, and the defense will give up points all day”

Tom Brady – Showed against the Dolphins why he is a consistent producer in fantasy football. The Saints provide little challenge to stop him.
Deion Branch – This was the guy that I picked out a hat for this week. It is so difficult to know whom Brady will target.
Ben Watson – 2 late TD’s to pull out the game in Miami shows that he has great ability

Aaron Brooks – Two years ago he looked like a star in the making. Not anymore.
Joe Horn – Did he retire before this season? JK

OAK @ WAS
Washington has been lucky all season. Last week their luck ran out. Oakland cannot seem to buy a win. They are four games out of the Division and just can’t get the job done when it counts, sounds like Kerry Collins career. That being said, Washington wins this one with a good defense and the fact that they are at home.

Kerry Collins – He threw 3 INT’s last week. We have now seen the real Kerry Collins. He could throw 3 again this week.
Randy Moss – As usual, he is good for around a buck and a score.
Lamont Jordan – Washington is giving up the tenth most points to RB’s this year including 12 overall TD’s. This bodes well for Lamont Sanford, er, I mean Jordan.

Mark Brunell – Definitely the most surprising player this year. He wasn’t even starting to begin the season. Nobody saw this coming. 250 1 TD/1 INT
Clinton Portis - The Raiders give up the third most points to RB’s. Combine that with the fact that Portis is averaging 90 yards total a game over his last 4 games with 5 TD’s. 120/2 TD’s
Santana Moss – He reminds me of a shorter version of Jimmy Smith from back in the day and loves Brunell throwing him the ball.
Chris Cooley – He gets about 50 yards a game and doesn’t score that often, sounds about right.

PIT @ BAL
Pittsburgh has won four in a row and the only one that was even close was against, well you guessed it, Baltimore. It was a one point victory on Monday Night. Boller is back and that means virtually nothing. Jamal Lewis looks like he doesn’t care. Jim Fassel is an awful coordinator and this team proves it.

PITT QB – I don’t like whoever is the starter. It’s a divisional rivalry game and defense controls this one
Hines Ward – Played spectacular against Cleveland. Baltimore is not Cleveland. Always a fantasy starter nevertheless.
PITT RB – Duce gets the yards, who knows who gets the goaline vultures. The Steelers are a fantasy owner’s nightmare.
Antowain Randel El - He could see time at QB, this week. Hmmm, very interesting.

PITT DEF / BALT DEF – These two defenses are the strongest plays on either team.

Kyle Boller – HA HA HA. Are you going to start him? I didn’t think so.
Jamal Lewis – Should be playing for a contract, now he most likely won’t get what he thinks he is worth.
Derrick Mason – He consistently gets the yards and consistently doesn’t score.
Todd Heap – I feel bad for this guy. He could really be a great player on a team with offense. If he was on the Colts, he would be phenomenal.

JAC @ TEN
Jacksonville will probably have to run the table to even stay close with the Colts. Tennessee is a shell of their former team due to poor cap management. The bad news, Taylor is doubtful. The good news, Tennessee is vulnerable through the air.

Byron Leftwich – Has a lot of young weapons and one really old one. 300 and 2 TD/1 INT
Greg Jones – He can handle himself in the absence of Taylor. What ever happened to Toefield?
Jimmy Smith – He is the Nolan Ryan of the NFL 85 /1 TD
Ernest Wilford – No one heard of this guy a month ago and is now quickly becoming a favorite of Lefty and has the same amount of TD’s as Smith. He exploited STL and HOU and had a bad week against BAL, but really wasn’t needed in that blowout. 90 /1 TD

Steve McNair - I don't see him doing well against a Jacksonville team on a mission
Chris Brown - He will be shut down this week.

TB @ ATL
Gruden really took a gamble last week going for two. That takes guts, which is something you rarely see in this league anymore. This just in, there has been a Mike Alstott sighting. ATL lost to GB at home thanks to a guy named Gado. Domo Origato, Mr. RoGADO. Vick hates playing the Bucs, as shown by his 61 career QB rating against them in five games.

Chris Simms – This guy put a solid effort together against a good defense. He is the same guy that struggled on the road against a poor Niner’s defense. Which Simms will come to play? I say the guy that played last week.
Carnell Williams – The Caddy is said to be getting back into game shape and should have a great weekend against the team giving up almost 22 points/ game to RB’s this season.
Joey Galloway – It seems like this guy catches at least one TD every week. I don’t see why that trend won’t continue.

Michael Vick – He has only thrown over 250 yards once since the 16th Week of 2002 and that was a measly 252 yards against DEN in week 8 of last season. In that span he only went over 200 6 times. That’s 29 games while throwing 27 TD’s and 22 INT’s. When are people going to give up on this guy for fantasy purposes?
Warrick Dunn – He is averaging close to 113 total yards a game, but has only 4 total TD’s. Only start him in yardage-heavy leagues.
Alge Crumpler – The guy who sounds like a coffee cake from the lake suffers with Vick at QB.

CAR @ CHI
That game last week in the Windy City was truly a blustery one. It wasn’t a surprise that it came down to a special teams play. The same thing might be true for this week. Carolina hasn’t lost since a week 3 defeat at Miami. People who were writing them off when they were 1-2 are now back on the wagon with the current co-# 1 NFC team.

Jake Delhomme – Chicago is looking at some rain/snow storms on Sunday, and to be a balmy 45 at game time. The wind is supposed to be blowing pretty hard, This is not for Jake owners. 150 1 TD/ 1INT
Stephen Davis – He is only an OK play in a TD heavy league. This one is a battle of defenses and Fox knows that one RB score could be the difference. Keep in mind that Chicago has only given up one RB score this year and that was to Kevin Jones who btw only seems to score against strong defenses. (CHI-1, TB-1,BAL-2)
Steve Smith – This guy has not lost a step this year coming back from injury. He is a bolt of lightning off the line and no one can cover him, now only if Jake throws him the ball in some crazy weather.

Thomas Jones – Benson’s injury is not as serious as first thought, but he will not be playing for a few weeks. Can he play with as much heart without the rook looking over his shoulder, only time will tell. He is not a strong play this week against a defense 3rd best at allowing points to opposing RB’s

MIA @ CLE
Browns ticket manager is under house arrest after scamming tickets to brokers, bypassing fans on a waiting list. The biggest question is, who the hell is on a waiting list to see the Browns? Cleveland has lost 4 of 5 and show almost no signs of life, save a winning performance against a pathetic Titan’s team. Miami on the other hand has lost 5 of 6 and look just as lifeless. Does anyone really care about this game?

Sage Rosenfels – It is reported that Frerotte has said that he will not play this week and that means that Sage the Savior gets the nod, I know you love him Wikkid, but on the real, he barely beat out AJ Feeley. Downgrade all Dolphins. I see the final of this game being 9-6 and pick either team to win. There should be a bunch of turnovers and not because the defenses are any good. I dare you Sage, prove me wrong.
Ronnie Brown – He should get a nice chunk of yardage, but scoring is going to be difficult with 10 guys in the box.

Antonio Bryant – He has put up poor numbers over the last four weeks against bad teams except for Pitt, I would not start him over Toomer or even Lelie, maybe even Randel El.

DET @ DAL
Two teams that will be playing on Thanksgiving next week are playing each other this week. How nice. I don’t care what anybody says, Dallas got lucky on Monday night and will have an emotional let down against Detroit. This doesn’t mean they will lose for they are playing the Lions at home. Have I mentioned how much I hate the Cowboys?

Joey Harrington – He had his one good game, now it’s time to come back to reality.
Roy Williams – 3 TD’s against Arizona and they only win by eight, that’s just sad.
Kevin Jones – Mariucci has no idea of the talent he has in Jones. 58 yards in the first half and then only 6 carries in the second half. Why, because of Artose Pinner and Shawn Bryson. Are you serious?

Drew Bledsoe – I hate this guy. He was dominated by the Eagles and yet still won because of poor decision making. He sucks. I don’t care what anyone says. He should play well this week though, but I still hate him
Terry Glenn – I hate her too.
Jason Witten – He is due for a good game, but the Lions give up the least amount of points to TE’s. That’s because they are too busy giving up points to other members of offenses.
Julius Jones – When he was hurt, we were assured that he wasn’t going to lose his starting job. It sure looked like that last week. So much for his preseason prediction of 1700 yards.

SEA @ SF
It looks now like it will be Seattle and Carolina slugging it out to see who will lose to Indy in Superbowl X-tra Large. With SA now being the focal point instead of Hasselback, that Seahawk team can be unstoppable. What can I say about San Francisco? Didn’t someone leave their heart there? Oh, yeah, the Forty-Niners did.

Matt Hasselback – With San Fran doing everything they can to attempt to stop Alexander, Hass should go apeshit against the worst (by far) pass defense in the league. 350 3TD’s/ 1 INT.
Shaun Alexander – Again, he is Shaun Alexander.
Bobby Engram – Looked to get back in the groove against St Louis, and now gets to face the creampuff Niner’s DB’s.

BUF @ SD
The Bills dominated a Kansas City team that plays much worse on the road than they do at home. McGahee cannot seem to play a full game lately. San Diego is coming off a bye week with the best running back in the league going against arguable the worst rushing defense. Buffalo is 4-1 at home and 0-4 on the road. San Diego should breeze through this one.

JP Loseman – SD has a poor pass defense and this guy found a rhythm against KC with Evans. These two could rack up some garbage time points.
Willis McGahee – Hasn’t scored a TD since week six. He seems to rack up the yards against poor run defenses 124 yds/game 3 TD’s (HOU, ATL, NEW, NYJ, NO) but he doesn’t do much against strong run defenses 59 yds/game 1 TD (TB, MIA, OAK, KC) – I don’t see him doing well this week.
Lee Evans – If you want a risk pick with a high reward plug Evans in as your number 3 WR.

Drew Brees – He has been on fire lately if you take out the Eagle’s game, but he faces the best team against the pass. He puts up OK numbers.
LT – should easily be the number one player this week
Antonio Gates – He is the only consistent receiving threat in this offense.

NYJ @ DEN
The Broncos would have won 8 in a row coming into this game if it not for the Herculean efforts of Eli Manning and the Giants. They have two road games after this including a Thanksgiving date in Dallas, so they will be gunning for this one. As much as the Broncos have been winning, the Jets have been losing. This one is over before it begins.

Brooks Bollinger – He shows signs of life for about two seconds and then you realize it was against the prevent nothing defense. He stinks and probably won’t last the entire game.

Jake Plummer – The Jets are pretty good against the pass and awful against the run. The Snake is not a real strong play this week, but he definitely plays better at home.
Mike Anderson – The Jets are giving up a combined 161 yds/game and just over a TD a game to opposing RB’s. Look for Mike S. to control the clock with Mike A.
Rod Smith – 35 year old Rod Smith has averaged 75 yds/ game over his last four and has 3 of his 4 TD’s during that stretch. 90 yds/ 1 TD

IND @ CIN
Indianapolis looks like a team for the ages. Johnny U out there minding the troops. Cincinnati is coming off a bye week. This is the week that Indy is supposed to be vulnerable because no team goes undefeated. This is a sneaky game and I am not buying it. No doubt, I think that this one will be a high scoring affair, but Indy wins this one and loses next week against Pitt.

Peyton Manning – He is the consummate professional. He handles his business and you don’t hear a peep. I love those commercials where he is praising the common man. Take note TO. 300 2 TD’s
Edgerrin James – Cincinnati has given up a lot of yards to RB’s but surprisingly not a lot of TD’s. Edge brings them down and knocks it in. 130 2 TD’s
Marvin Harrison – I wonder where all the guys that said, “This is the year that Wayne takes over for Marvin.” He may have 1 more catch and 9 more yards, but Marvin has 5 more TD’s. Looks like Marv is still the guy.

Carson Palmer – He has been the best fantasy QB so far this year and there is no sign of him stopping. Indy has surrendered only 9 passing TD’s this year. However, 7 have come in the last 5 weeks.
Chad Johnson – He has guaranteed a big game against the Colts this week, but he won’t guarantee victory. That’s what I see too. 120 2 TD’s and 1 in the loss column.
Rudi Johnson – The addition of Simon has helped the team immensely against the run and have only given up 3 TD’s to RB’s all year. Rudi is not a good play this week as if you needed me to tell you that.

KC @ HOU
KC really misses Roaf. Trent Green has as much time to throw as it takes the Eagles to blow a 4th quarter lead. Houston is pitiful and gives up more points to RB’s than any other team not named San Francisco. I said KC misses Roaf, but not this week. LJ will run them to victory.

Trent Green – Spends more time on his back than a 2-dollar crack whore, but as long as he can hand it off he won’t have the opportunity to throw an INT.
Larry Johnson – Huge numbers this week. He should give LT a run for his money for player of the week.
Tony Gonzalez – I thought that he would have had a poor week last week without Roaf against the #1 pass defense, but actually did pretty good. 75 yds/ 1 TD

Dominick Davis/Jonathan Wells – Neither is a very good play. I have said it before and I’ll say it again. I wouldn’t be surprised if Houston doesn’t score a point.

MIN @ GB
Green Bay goes on the road and stuns the Falcons. Minnesota goes on the road and stuns the Giants. Both teams are on an emotional high. The difference is Mike Tice. He will find a way to lose this one. Samkon Gado looks like a beast. Let’s just hope he can hold onto the ball long enough to keep the job.

Brad Johnson – At 37, he is well past his prime and the only thing going for him is that Green Bay gives up points to TE’s like crazy which seems to be the only position he can throw to.
Mewelde Moore – How is Bennett keeping this guy on the bench? I understand that Tice is protecting a wrist injury but, when he out-yardages Bennett's entire game on one play then he needs to be in there.
Jermaine Wiggins – GB gives up the second most points in the league to TE’s. A lone bright spot in a bad offense.

Brett Favre – I wonder how many times John Madden will knock one out to Brett on what could play out to be the second to last Monday Night Game he will play and possibly the last at Lambeau Field. I can hear it now. “ Brett Favre is the only Brett Favre there can ever be” Brett Favre can take a game upon his back and will his team to victory” “ Brett Favre can turn water into wine” John Madden needs to go. Last Monday night he made up words like Quickler and said the Cowboys SNEAKED into town. This guy speaks for a living, what? Anyway, Brett comes to play on Monday.
Samkon Gado – I am now officially on the bandwagon. Minnesota has given up 10 rushing TD’s this year. GO GO Speed GADO GO.
Donald Driver – Stepped up his performance in the face of double teams. Looks good for a buck and a TD
Bubba Franks – Only Minnesota gives up more points to TE’s than Green Bay.

----------------------

Top QB matchups – Week 11

1. Brett Favre
2. Peyton Manning
3. Carson Palmer
4. Matt Hasselback
5. Marc Bulger
6. Eli Manning
7. Tom Brady
8. Mark Brunell
9. Byron Leftwich
10. Drew Bledsoe

Top RB matchups – Week 11
1. Ladanian Tomlinson
2. Shaun Alexander
3. Larry Johnson
4. Edgerrin James
5. Steven Jackson
6. Samkon Gado
7. Tiki Barber
8. Clinton Portis
9. Lamont Jordan
10. Warrick Dunn

Top WR matchups – Week 11

1. Chad Johnson
2. Torry Holt
3. Steve Smith
4. Santana Moss
5. Donald Driver
6. Larry Fitzgerald
7. Plaxico Burress
8. Randy Moss
9. Marvin Harrison
10. Joey Galloway

Top TE matchups – Week 11

1. Jeremy Shockey
2. Tony Gonzalez
3. Antonio Gates
4. Randy McMichael
5. This is getting redundant each week with the same rankings


Sleeper of the Week

Samkon Gado – The Vikings gave up over 200 yds to Tiki Barber in a win over the Giants and Gado went off in his first start. Not bad for being 5th string at the beginning of the year. He has a great matchup this week and I think his fortune continues.


Bust of the Week
Willis McGahee – As I stated before, he seems to do better against poor run defenses and not so hot against the better run D teams. This week they have to travel 3000 miles to face one of the best run defenses that are coming off a bye week. You make the call.

Week 11 comes and goes. It’s strange how as time drudges on, it goes with a growing speed. So is life. Take heed this week as the NFL is becoming more and more difficult to envision. I am still undecided as to whether that is good or bad for the either the NFL or fantasy football.

Always go with your gut and never look back.

----Professor Ellis D Trails