Sunday, November 06, 2005
WETBOAT'S SUNDAY MUSINGS, WEEK 9
Be like T.O.
THE WORLD OF TERRELL OWENS
To enter the World of Terrell Owens, admission is $81 for the day. It covers 10 rides, lunch, and a free Terrell Owens jersey (details below). For unlimited rides, add $50 and scream at the ticket agent, "Throw the ball to me EVERY time!"
The World of Terrell Owens includes these exciting rides:
The Lone Star: Ride through Dallas standing on a big star. Get hit by Dallas Cowboys players, get booed by fans and country stars in ten-gallon hats, and get an earful from your coach.
Whirling Sharpie: Get on a Sharpie-sized car and whirl around in "suspended" animation.
The Love Boat: A sweet, romantic ride on an Al & Alma's chartered boat through Philadelphia, where TV screens show T.O. and McNabb at various times, including every McNabb-Owens touchdown pass, sideline fight, and an explosive ending you won't want to miss!
Secret Agent Joseph: A crisp, fast, exciting roller-coaster ride with stomach-twisting turns and loops such as Missed Paperwork, Stark Raven Mad, and, the worst of all, Terrell Owens.
Andy Reid in Tights: Catch enough TD passes, and you'll see Philadelphia's coach wearing tights. With each caught TD pass, it gets harder. Watch out for Roy Williams.
How to Piss Off Everybody and His Dog: An interactive ride where children and adults alike have the opportunity to comment on every missed T.O. touchdown opportunity. Vulgar language permitted. Fun for kids! Get suspended!
And the flagship ride:
The Super Bowl Experience: A super-duper roller coaster where you ride into every Philadelphia Eagles huddle during the Super Bowl against the New England Patriots. You're almost guaranteed to throw up every time. To keep from throwing up, call a play in the huddle. Is it that easy? Try it. If you call all the plays without throwing up, you win a Freddie Mitchell bobblehead.
When you need a break, eat at the following establishments:
Mariucci's - your favorite Italian specialties.
Garcia Burritos n Tacos - includes such mouth-watering specialties as San Francisco Sourdough Burrito, Dawg Pound Taco, and Motown Enchilada. New dish to be announced next year around June 1st.
McNabb Soup Company - All your favorite, piping-hot soups, delivered by your mom.
Pat's Original Cheesesteaks - Direct from South Philly!
Future Restaurant - Will it have an Indianapolis theme? A southern-fried Atlanta flavor? Or, even, Maryland crab cakes?!??
Each person entering the World of Terrell Owens gets a free Terrell Owens jersey. It changes colors depending on what team T.O. ends up with. Number 81 not guaranteed.
For more information about the World of Terrell Owens, including directions, travel packages, and hotel accommodations, contact David Joseph Agency at 800-555-8181, or go to www.tosupportsdavidjoseph.com.
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