Monday, November 21, 2005

NUFCED by wikkidpissah

The very best thing about NFL football is in danger of becoming the worst. With ten early games to watch with the end of bye season, I sat down to enjoy some quantity as an appetizer to the quality matchup between the top 2 offenses in the game (apology to USC). The most entertaining play of the day was the first – Reuben Droughns zigzagging his way to utter exhaustion and a 75 yard TD. I was then treated to forty quarters of purely awful football. That paucity of excellence was then underlined by the cornucopia of talent and execution that was the year’s most entertaining pro game, that between the Colts and Bengals. Often, during this fireworks display, I was reminded of Tiger Woods’ ’97 Masters when a commentator continually wondered if Tiger was indeed playing the same sport as his contemporaries.

The difference was huge and the difference was quarterbacking and, with the way youngsters are being groomed, I fear that gap to only widen in the forseeable future. With Peyton & Carson dueling each other and CPep & DMac out for the year, we had 14 games where QB incompetence, on one or both sides, was the most significant, if not determining factor in the game.

That is not likely to change for quite a while, for two reasons. One is the hypersophistication of the present-day game. With the algorhythmic interpretation of patterns by coordinators and the subsequent need for constant adjustments in sequencing, the game is overwhelming anymore to all but a freakish few. The other is that the out-of-whack financial value of young QBs causes them to be rushed into service at a time when the learning curve is more demanding by far than it has ever been. Get used to the cycle of brainfreeze-shellshock-ruin and hope that your home team is one of the half-dozen (at most) with an appropriately skilled and trained captain at the helm.

Well, that was hilarious. Let’s see if I can at least be a little entertaining as I look at this week’s action.

NE 24 NO 17
Well, now, the Pats’ offense is almost as decimated by injury as their defense. When the Saints are getting penetration on you, you’re in trouble. If the other teams in their division weren’t headed by the law firm of Loseman, Bollinger & Frerotte, any chance of playoffs would be out the window…Could Heath Evans be the Nick Goings of ’05? I really like the way this guy plays. I guess Auburn is now Running Back U (alums: SDavis – who Evans reminds me of a little -, Rudi J, Caddy, Ronnie Brown, Evans and Touchdown Brandon Jacobs)…meaningless 300+ yard games (as ABrooks had here) are becoming as common as the 9/20-112 variety.

DAL 20 DET 7
Proof that an old-fashioned ball-control game is still possible…Evidence that too many people are playing fantasy football: most-added QB this week, wait for it, Pal Joey…Anybody that thinks the draft is everything hasn’t been turned down offering KJones for Samkon Gado.

CLE 22 MIA 0
I’d like to thank everyone who helped me create the myth of the IMMORTAL SAGE ROSENFELS, but it’s time to move on to a good Iowa State QB. Those with a dynamic adjective for Seneca Wallace can reach me at Sticky Icky Ricky looked really good today. Of course, the fact that my new Least-Favorite-Coach was still trying to establish the run down by 22 pts helped…Charlie Frye showed me nothing in his mop-up debut.

CHI 13 CAR 3
Of course, comparing any Bears’ D to the 1985-6 clubs is idiocy, but I honestly can’t recall a defense more methodically hard-hitting than this one…Speaking of my powers of recollection, neither can I remember a diminutive WR having a better season than li’l Smitty…Coach Fox, would you please bench your #1-2 RBs for a game? You might find that NGoings is actually your answer.

TB 30 ATL 27
Congratulations, Falcons, Ron Mexico has finally discovered how to be a pocket QB. Oh, btw, you’re 0-2 since he has, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...Kudos to Coach Chucky for not buying into the one-game CSimms myth, but using the fact that their opponent did to open things up for Caddy again.

BAL 16 PGH 13 OT
Stinker-of-the-day, and that’s saying something on a day like this…Props to KBoller for guiding the Ravins to their 1st offensive TD in three games. I wouldn’t be surprised if he achieved two or three more before the season is thru.

OAK 16 WASH 13
JPorter is as good as he wants to be. Not wanting to be as bad a slacker as Randy the Great appears to have brought something out in him…MBrunell looked very, very very tired in the 2nd ha…zzzzz…in the 2nd half of…zzzzz…in the 2nd half of this game.

JAX 30 TEN 27
Titans are my favorite 2-8 team of all time. Totally overmatched, they play with spirit and fun and never give up. Coach Fisher is doing a better job this year than with his championship contenders of a few yrs ago…Prediction: Lefty will NEVER win a playoff game. Shame, too, because has has two verrry exciting young talents at WR.

AZ 38 STL 28
Can’t beat a good homecoming…must confess that the Indy-Cincy game was too good to watch much of the other late action, so I’d REALLY like to know how SJax went 12/6 against da freakin Cards…dunno if you can put 5 better WRs on the field than those in this matchup.

NYG 27 PHI 17
Pick up MikeMac, pick him up NOW. If they go permanently to the shotgun they used in their last drive, he becomes not only a good QB (he improved as the game progressed) but their best RB. Also, he & LJ had it goin on…Watching BJake go 0-for-3 from the one-yd-line gave me a Ron Dayne flashback.

SEA 27 SF 25
He’d have to have a Fantastic Four type of elasticity to hold up, but Ken Dorsey is a professional QB. His 44-yarder to BLloyd was a thing of beauty…Frank Gore got hurt on the occasion of his coming-out party, as he seemingly has every year of his football career…Big Shaun’s unconscious level of performance is masking the fact that the Hawks are still a weakass road team.

SD 48 BUF 10
How the hell do the Bolts score 48 without LT2 being a major factor – I guess the Bills’ vaunted (what the hell does that word actually mean, anyways) pass D has gone the way of their O & run D…getting reeeal tired of watching a genuine talent like LEvans try to run back on, catch up to & hitchhike a ride from the offerings of the recondite bums throwing to him.

DEN 27 NYJ 0
I don’t know if I can live in a world where Jake Plummer is an elite QB…All you need know about this game? 1st half time of possession Den 25:00 NYJ 5:00.

IND 45 CIN 37
Beautiful, beautiful ball game. I find it hard to like Peyton Manning, but he may be the most singular talent in sport today. Never seen as much go on in an athlete’s head as was in his on this day. He was not only QB, Off. Coord. and Coach of the game, but appeared to be writing ad copy for his next endorsement and solving the wormhole portal problem necessary to time travel…Scary thing is, tho Palmer’s ceiling doesn’t appear as high as PMan’s, he’s much farther along in this stage of his career than his opponent was…Stupid call of the day: Bengals running a deep sweep to the short side of the field on a game-deciding 4th & 1...Colts will join the ’73 Dolphins as undefeated team this year. Only thing that causes me to doubt that: in the 9 quarters they have faced upper tier QBs (Brady, Bulger, Palmer) this season, they’ve given up 710 yds & 6 TD’s. Still, I don’t think anyone can keep up with them when they’re trying. Nufced.

KC 45 HOU 17
The world order is just wrong when I’m unemployed & Dom Capers isn’t…I spent most of the preseason ridiculing those reaching high to handcuff LJ to Priest but, in my last (& only keeper) draft, I caved when all the WRs I keyed were chosen in front of me and picked him up in the 5th round. Thank God for moral inconsistency!

All in all, one tremendous game amidst the worst week of football I can remember. Gonna spend this turkey of a week working out the QB conundrum, wormholes and my mancrush on dreamy genius Bryanlamb. Happy & safe Thanksgiving, everybody. Play hard -

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