Ask The Experts

It's time once again to go to our panel of experts and field some questions from the LockerRoom mailbag.

Our panel this week includes:

Donatello Raphael Kahanamoku - Waikiki's famous son and local surfer.

Bobby Flaymer - Interior decorator and catering guru from Houston, Texas

Marjorie Hollingshead - Women's Softball coach at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY.



Just got offered McCown/Lloyd for Culpepper/Mason do you guys think I should take it? Shaun D. Boise, ID

DRK - Whoa dude... chill out on the creeper. Pass me the bong and let's think about this for awhile.

BF - Girlfriend, I'd jump on that quicker than a Mexican bodybuilder greased up with baby oil.

MH - I'd much rather have two black men on my roster at the same time.... hmmmm, excuse me, I have to run to the ladies room.


Which WR would you rather have for the rest of the season? Clayton, Rogers, Andre Johnson. Who would you dump and who would you pick up? Dillon F. Wilmington, DE

DRK - Dude, those guys are more trashed than I am. Like.... waste them all except Rogers. Anyone who hits the herb is righteous by me. Seriously, Galloway and Glenn are two dudes you need to snatch.

BF - Men who drop balls are just atrocious in the bedroom honey, let me tell you. I'd package these guys up with a quarterback or running back and tie them together with a silky scarf. Oh lighten up, I'm just kidding. I like Galloway too.

MH - Taffetta works nicely for tying people up. Heather and I like doing that on the week..... ooops. Never mind. Stallworth, Galloway and Lloyd are all going to have better years.

My team is 0-4 where did I go wrong?
QB - Culpepper, Pennington
RB - Holmes, Bell, Arrington, LJohnson
WR - Mason, Clayton, Burleson, AJohnson
TE - Gonzalez
K - Akers
DEF - Baltimore
Shelby W. Richmond, VA

DRK - Whoa dude.... tough break. *Inhale* Here!

BF - Get with the program honey, this is week 5 it's time to lose some deadweight. If I had to redecorate your whole roster I'd start with your QB problems first.

MH - You obviously haven't been making changes fast enough. You need to get rid of Akers and pick up that lesbian kicker.... Rackers.