Thursday, December 01, 2005

Professor Ellis D Trails Week 13 Syllabus.

The Moral Hero Deion Sanders.

Is this guy for real? I mean, for me, the best part of him not being on a pregame show was that:

a. I didn’t have to hear his ridiculous and nonsensical rantings based on anything but fact.
b. I didn’t have to witness his unreasonably preposterous wardrobe.

Now, the outspoken jackass is keeping quiet no more. He must have been dying to speak out against such injustices as have been perpetrated toward two revered individuals such as Terrell Owens and Michael Irvin.

Speaking in front of his locker Wednesday, Sanders declared, “Michael Irvin is totally innocent. I know the whole situation, and it isn't what it seemed. From his history, we were able to jump to conclusions and we shouldn't do that at all times. This is a country that says we're innocent until proven guilty, but it seems like it's the direct opposite. He's my buddy. He's my friend," Sanders said of Irvin. "We've got to back each other in tough times, and this is a tough time for he and his family. He was really trying to look out for one of his friends".

This is the same guy that shot a music video with MC Hammer. I wonder if he still backs his other less famous friends. 2 legit 2 quit, huh Deion? From Irvin’s history, there is no need to jump to conclusions. HA. He is right about that. I don’t need to jump to anything; I can be 100% sure about what his intentions were. Deion is obviously living in his delusional fantasy world. I wonder if that’s like fantasy football. Michael Irvin had ample opportunity to eradicate any evidence of any paraphernalia, but he didn’t. Here is how I think it went down.

“Yo Mike, I got some killer shit, man. This stuff will have you dancin’ in the endzone again.”
“For reals, dude, you think I could get me some of that kill?”
“No doubt homey, just score me some Cowboy tickets and we’re cool.”
“For you anything, you know we got back each other during the tough times.”
“Just take this bowl and tell me what you think.”
“Don’t do nothing stupid like speeding while you got that shit.”
“Is my name Michael Irvin?”
“Holla at your boy.”
“Wait ‘till I tell Deion about this stuff. He’s gonna be hype.”
“ Hey, do those guys on Gameday know you be zooted when you on that show.”
“ With the shit that comes out my mouth, how could they not?”
They both share a laugh.
“Later player”
“Holla at your boy.”

Now doesn't that sound more like what you think happened? I thought so.

Then he goes to spew some words on the Owens situation. "I feel bad for T.O. It's not right. Just because a guy won't say he's sorry, he's out of the game of football for the season," Sanders said. "It's like someone working a job 9 to 5 and they don't apologize to their boss, they're fired. There are so many things that I don't like about it. A man should be able to work and make an honest living and do what he loves to do. Yeah, he may have made a mistake and said something about his quarterback but so what? Let's move on. People talk about people everyday, but that doesn't mean you should be able to take away my livelihood. He's a football player, let him play football".

He feels bad for T.O. He acts like the Eagles are in the wrong for making Owens apologize. You are something else, “NEON”. I don’t think that an employee would be fired for not saying sorry, but if that employee went to a public platform and not only bad mouthed his employer and team members for no other reason except that of personal adjudication, then that employee should be held accountable. TO was held accountable. He was given the so-called warnings that us 9-5er’s you so politely put it, have to deal with from Human Resources. He continued to deliberately cause problems. This is not simply him not saying sorry, you ignoramus. You show the intelligence level of a slug. How you can say that a man should be allowed to make an honest living while he continues to lie to those who employ and adore him is beyond me. Yeah, people talk about other people everyday. Those are strangers, not people who rely on each other to perform at the level they need to succeed. If he is a “football player”, then why does he act like a televangelist?

Just because the spotlight isn’t on you so often anymore, Deion, doesn’t mean you have to give us the pleasure of listening to your completely ill thought and obtuse remarks.

Week 13 is upon us and the fantasy playoffs loom large. I can see all owners right now, scurrying to make final roster moves to aid them in their respective playoff runs. The only thing guaranteed is that there will be more losers than winners. Oh, well, get over it. To those of you who drafted Peyton Manning and Culpepper and Randy Moss in the first round. You deserve your fate. I am sure there are those who prospered by making such erroneous decisions, but for every team that succeeded, I can show you several that perished. I guess there is always next year, right.

TEN @ IND, 1:00 pm
Tennessee had lost 5 in a row before beating a hapless 49ers team. Can they stop the Indy machine? I don’t think that Indy is favored by 16 points for nothing. I say they cover. The Colts showed on Monday night why they have a serious shot at going undefeated.

Peyton Manning – The best QB/Coach since Joe Montana. He is carving his place in the annals of history.
Edgerrin James – People are fearful of him missing time if the Colts clinch everything. I say you didn’t draft him so high because you weren’t going to ride him to a championship. Don’t jump ship now.
Marvin Harrison – Where are all the naysayers now. They’ll be back next year and they’ll be wrong again.

Steve Mcnair – I think he’ll get some yards, but he won’t have time to throw early in the game.
Chris Brown – He had a great game last week, receiving. How he could not run all over the San Fran defense is beyond me. Look elsewhere this week.

GB @ CHI, 1:00 pm
Green Bay got some production out of Gado last week against the team that held LT to seven yards. This, one week after not being able to run against the weak Vikings run defense. I know, it makes no sense, but that’s modern football, baby. If you are not used to it yet, then I say, where have you been? Chicago’s defensive stats right now are better then those of the 1985 team, however Kyle Orton is no Jim McMahon. That guy knew how to win.

Brett Favre – I thought he should have retired last season. He is only exhibiting how right I was. Don’t come back next season, Brett. Retire with some dignity. Yeah, you are scoring some fantasy points, but the magic just isn’t there.
Samkon Gado – Can he consistently produce? Not against this defense.
Donald Driver – He has been strong this season, but it's hard to recommend anyone at Chicago. Steve Smith put on a clinic with catches and yards, but didn’t score. He might do ok, but if you have a really good matchup, I would think about sitting him.

Thomas Jones – I like him this week. They allowed a struggling rushing team in the Eagles to gain 180 yards on the ground last week.

JAX @ CLE, 1:00 pm
It hurts, Jax losing their heart in Leftwich. As strong as their defense is, he was their leader. Cleveland is awful, but plays better at home. If they can get to Garrard, they might have a shot at this one.

David Garrard – He has some elusiveness, but he just doesn’t have the skills to be an NFL quarterback.
Greg Jones – The Jags should rely on him heavily this week. Can he handle it?
Jimmy Smith – With a QB that virtually has no shot to throw over 200 yards, no WR is a good play on this team.

MIN @ DET, 1:00 pm
The Vikes have not lost since BJ took over have beaten nobody except the Giants. They only did that because of special teams and defense. Mooch is out is Motown. Garcia will lead the Lions to victory this week.

Brad Johnson – Detroit is much better against the pass than they get credit for. Their problem is the run. Lucky for them, Tice doesn’t know what he is doing.
Mewelde Moore – He gives the Vikes the best shot at having a run game. See above for the problem.
Marcus Robinson – After having a two-touchdown performance, this guy is the newest hot commodity. Does everyone forget this guy sucks?

Jeff Garcia – Minnesota gets a lot of interceptions, but they also give up a lot of TD’s If Jeff sticks to feeding the ball to Williams deep and Pollard underneath, they could do well this week.
Kevin Jones – He might finally get the chance to shine as the guy who was calling the plays at the end of last year is again the guy that will let KJ loose.
Marcus Pollard – Minnesota has given up the most TD’s to TE this year. I am going to start him over McMichael.
Roy Williams – Will Jeff be able to hit him? He’ll be closer the Joey was.

DAL @ NYG, 1:00 pm
The Cowboys gave a valiant effort on Turkey Day, but could not overcome the play on one Ron Dayne. Now they travel to New York with a long week to face Parcell’s old team. This one should be interesting. The Giants had multiple chances to put themselves in the driver seat for the playoffs but Feeley couldn’t put it away.

Drew Bledsoe – The Giants defense has played well this year and even better at home. Dallas' offense is overrated.
Julius Jones/Marion Barber – Will the real running back please stand up?
Jason Witten – He has only had a couple of really good games all followed up by stinkers. The Giants don’t give up much to TE’s.

Eli Manning – He has thrown one TD in every game this season. He also had one of his worst games this season in a 16-13 loss at Dallas. Look for him to continue his hot streak this week and atone for an earlier season disappointment.
Tiki Barber – He is proving that last year was no fluke and Jacobs has not been as much as a factor as some speculated.
Plaxico Burress – He averages about 85 yds a game and a touchdown every other game. He sees as many looks as anyone, but still drops too many passes to be elite.
Jeremy Shockey – He had a really good game against the Cowboys last time including a game tying TD in the final minutes.

TB @ NO, 1:00 pm
The Bucs seemed to be just catching their stride until they ran into the proverbial wall that is the Chicago Bears. New Orleans is struggling to just get through this year.

Chris Simms – He hasn’t thrown a touchdown since the barnburner with the Redskins. The Saints are a good antidote for that ailment.
Cadillac Williams – Caddy played pretty good against the Bears. He is fully recovered from that injury and will run over the Saints.
Joey Galloway – Two games has been his longest stretch without a TD this year. Guess how many games it’s been since he scored. This game could get ugly.

Aaron Brooks – He has had two good fantasy games in a row. Insert bad game here.
Joe Horn – He has played seven games and scored one TD. He looks like the backup Horn from Kansas City.
Donte Stallworth – Bad News: He only has six TD’s this year; Good News: They are all in the last seven games.

BUF @ MIA, 1:00 pm
The fact that Buffalo beat KC three weeks ago only proves how bad KC is on the road.
Miami loses at Cleveland and then wins at Oakland. Huh.

Willis McGahee – He couldn’t run against Miami at home and now he on the road.

Ronnie Brown – The only Dolphin worth playing this week.
Ricky Williams – He has had some games vs. the Bills in the past, but I just can’t recommend him.

CIN @ PIT, 1:00 pm
The last two opponents of the Colts play each other this week in a tough divisional matchup. Cincinnati blew out the Ravens and should use the passing game to quiet the Steelers.

Carson Palmer – The number one fantasy QB in most formats, not bad for an average ninth round pick.
Chad Johnson – Talks the talk and walks the walk.
TJ Houshmanzadeh – He is a number one playing with a number one.

Big Ben – He will need to rely heavily on the run for his team to win. Bench him this week.
Jerome Bettis – His career is winding down. Is there any gas left in the tank of the Bus?
Hines Ward – Even without a consistent number two, he still puts up the numbers.

ATL @ CAR, 1:00 pm
Atlanta has historically been a team that wins at home and loses on the road. This year however they are 3-3 at the Dome and 4-1 on the road. Those 4 victories came against teams with losing records. Carolina won a battle of kickers against the Bills in Buffalo and are glad to be home this week where their only loss came to an emotional Saints team in week one.

Michael Vick – Oh, Vick can you stay in the pocket? No. The Panthers have the speed to stay with you.
Warrick Dunn – The Panthers are number one against the run and Dunn doesn’t play in the red zone.

Jake Delhomme – No one has been better opposing the pass in the last five weeks then the Falcons.
Deshaun Foster – He is becoming the Warrick Dunn of the Panthers. He will get more carries and yards, but Duckett, I mean Davis gets the TD’s
Steve Smith – You know

HOU @ BAL, 1:00 pm
Houston sucks. Baltimore Sucks. Who will suck more? Tune in to find out. Never mind, watch another game.

Andre Johnson – He has had a few good games and came through as my sleeper of the week last week. This week he should play like he is asleep.

Jamal Lewis – As the sole back against a team that couldn’t stop a cinder block in glue spells a possible big game for the second week in a row.

ARI @ SF, 4:05 pm
Arizona is a only a step above the 49ers, but should be able to take out the Alex Smith led team, rolling to the number one pick.

Kurt Warner – He has been behind so much, so fast that he can do nothing but rack up the points. Can anyone say no running game?
BryanquanLamboldin/TheRealFitz – These two guys are a tandem that will be a force to be reckoned with if the organization ever gets their act together.

Alex Smith – There will be better days ahead for this young QB.

WAS @ STL, 4:05 pm
Washington lost a game last week that they could have won. St Louis won a game last week that they should have lost.

Mark Brunell – The Rams defense can make any QB look good, yes even a fading Brunell
Clinton Portis – I see a big game this week. Mostly because Wikkid didn’t pick him in Deathmatch.

Ryan Fitzpatrick – He won’t have the game that he had against the Texans, but has more natural skill than Martin will ever learn.
Stephen Jackson – The Rams need to focus on the run in order to control the clock and take the pressure off of the Ryan.
Torry Holt – He is a great target for a QB with a learning curve.

NYJ @ NE, 4:15 pm
The Jets have no identity. New England is the worst division leader in the league. At the beginning of the year, this one looked like it was going to have playoff implications. The only thing left is to see if the Pats will win the division with a losing record.

Laveranues Coles – This could be a strong week for Coles, if he had a QB who could throw.

Corey Dillon – The Pats dropped Cloud this week, which seems to lead you to believe Belichick is ready to roll with Dillon, but you never know what Bill is thinking. I think he intentionally screws with fantasy sports.

DEN @ KC, 4:15 pm
In the last five years, Denver has only won once in Kansas City, 37-34 in 2002. Denver lost a heartbreaker in New York or would only have one loss this year. KC has won three of four against some poor teams.

Jake Plummer – He has finally put all his talents together and, despite throwing an int last week, he is still at the top of his game.
Mike Anderson – The return of Bell this week may spell Mike for a couple of series, but he is the guy at the goal.

Trent Green – Like so many years past he has turned up his game towards the end of the year, although this year he waited a little longer than others.
LJ – He has averaged some hefty numbers since Priest went out. IF he can do it this week, then he can do it any week. In week 15 last season at home against the Broncos he had 30 carries for 151 yards and two td’s.

OAK @ SD, 8:30 pm
Oakland is falling faster than a turd from my ass after a night of cerveza and tamales. San Diego should just hand the ball to LT every play and on passing downs, they should throw it to LT.

Kerry Collins – With 8 ints in his last five games, he seems to be getting worse as the season progresses. How is that possible with the receiving corps. he has? He sucks.
Randy Moss – If this guy has heart he would be one of the best ever. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. He wants to win so badly, but feels like he doesn’t need to do what it takes to win ALL OF THE TIME, not just some of the time. Baby!
Lamont Jordan – I gave the owner who kept him this past year a lot of razzing and now that he is two games ahead of me in first place, it’s time to give him his props. Good job MAC BITCH.

Monday, Dec. 5

SEA @ PHI, 9:00 pm
Seattle is like the Eagles of last year, nothing seems to go wrong for these guys. Shaun could take them all the way to lose to the Colts in the Superbowl. The Eagles will be back, there are plenty of free agents to be had and the birds have plenty of money to spend. Add a high draft pick and they’ll be right there again. Remember the Pats sucked in between Super Bowl wins.

Matt Hasselbeck – Hasselbeck will take advantage of a depleted secondary.
Shaun Alexander – My gut says he’ll be riding the horse trailer at the end of the night.
Joe J – Loves to play the Eagles, check the Bucs-Eagles championship game a few years back.

Brian Westbrook – Westy should have a solid game for the reason that he's the only weapon in an otherwise nameless offense
LJ Smith – He’s good, but he’s a tight end for crying out loud.

Top QB’s for Week 13

1. Peyton Manning
2. Kurt Warner
3. Carson Palmer
4. Michael Vick
5. Drew Brees
6. Matt Hasselback
7. Jake Plummer
8. Tom Brady
9. Eli Manning
10. Steve McNair

Top RB’s for Week 13

1. LT
3. SA
4. Steven Jackson
5. Thomas Jones
6. Clinton Portis
7. Larry Johnson
8. Cadillac Williams
9. Brian Westbrook
10. Mewelde Moore

Top WR’s for Week 13

1. Larry Fitzgerald
2. Steve Smith
3. Chad Johnson
4. Marvin Harrison
5. Santana Moss
6. Bryanquan Lamboldin
7. Torry Holt
8. Reggie Wayne
9. Hines Ward
10. Laveranues Coles

Sleeper of the Week

Chris Perry – Pittsburgh is a strong rush defense, but in leagues that offer PPR, Perry is an interesting play. He is third in the league in receptions for running backs. Pittsburgh not only has given up the fourth most catches to opposing backs, but they have given up the most yards receiving to backs as well. The Bengals have to know this and should look to exploit it.

Bust of the Week

Joe Horn – He has usually been one of the most consistent receivers in fantasy football over the last 5 years, but this just hasn't been one to remember. It began with the whole Katrina disaster and then he missed parts or all of 5 games, and because of that he has had trouble getting going all season. Don't look for that to change this week, as he faces a tough Tampa Bay team. It seems that while he was injured, Brooks and Stallworth have developed a strong chemistry, and Horn has seen fewer balls as of late.

Well, that’s the week at hand and, for most, it’s the final week before the playoffs begin. So, many of you need that final win to lock up a spot and, for the rest, the preparing for the next season has prematurely begun. To those that still have a shot, good luck and remember...

Always go with your gut and don’t look back.

….Professor Ellis D Trails.


Anonymous said...

That was some parts amusing and some parts knowledgeable. Now if you could only get your picks in on time you'd be all set. Overall B+, gotta air the place out though.

Professor Ellis D Trails said...

what'cha talkin about willis?