Friday, December 23, 2005

On The Hash... Marks (by Creek)

Why wasn't this in Shrek 2?

Going to go quickly through this week's bowl games, as nobody really cares, since we're all busy buying presents for Jesus.

The Motor City "better than the Music City" bowl: Memphis -6 Akron

Why Memphis will win: They have the best player on either team in DeAngelo Williams. Umm... Don't know much about Akron... Is Charlie Frye going back to play this game? Looking at the stats, it would seem that they have a good running game, and they did win the MAC, which means something nowadays.

Player to watch: Williams

Memphis 24 Akron 16

The Champ Sports "suck on that, Footlocker" bowl: Clemson (no line) Colorado

Why Clemson will win: Colorado has two chances in this game-- slim and none (Wow that was corny... did I just write that?). After the Nebraska and Texas losses, mixed in with Barnett getting fired, it just doesn't look like they are going to put up much of a fight. Clemson, on the other hand, is coming off two big wins against FSU and South Carolina.

Player to watch: Tye Hill

Clemson 33 Colorado 13

The Insight "we're stuck with Rutgers" bowl: Rutgers +13 Arizona St.

Why Arizona St. will win (but not cover): If this game was played about 2 months ago, I'm taking ASU no matter what the spread is, but without Sam Keller I just can't do it. I know that Carpenter has played well, but I steering the "Keller for Heisman" bandwagon. Without him, ASU is just a few good pass catchers, a good freshman running back and Dale Robinson. Not enough for me to take them to win by 13.

Player to watch: Clark Harris (I know there are more talented guys like Brian Leonard, Derek Hagan, ect., but Harris is the next L.J Smith)

Arizona St. 34 Rutgers 28

The MPC Computers "win one for the nerds!" bowl: Boston College +3 Boise St.

Why Boston College will win: After Boise St. got killed by Georgia, I didn't pay attention to them the rest of the year. I assume they still suck.

Player to watch: Mathias Kiwanuka

Boston College 23 Boise St. 20

The Alamo "can we hurry up and forget this?" bowl: Michigan -17 Nebraska

Why Michigan will win: They're motherfucking Michigan, that's why! Nebraska is, well, not playing very Nebraska-y, and in the words of my buddy Big Jon, "is so gay for hiring Bill Callahan, and running the west coast offense." Well said Big Jon.

Player to watch: Jason Avant (it's his last game, and he'll be going out in style)

Michigan 37 Nebraska 16

And giving that Christmas is in 2 days/a day/already passed depending on when you read this, I suppose I need tosay something pertaining to the holiday, so here it goes:

Fuck Christmas. Thank you.

No comments: