Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Archers Bull's Eye Week#5

Week #5

By now I hope you realize that all that draft day knowledge you had or someone else who sounded like they knew what was up..... was nothing more than bull shit. The numbers that Wikkid came up with were very interesting and believeable since I have been working the FA extra hard this year. I don't remember so much topsy turvy in years past, but I know there's usually a few busts in the top 10 of each position. It just seems like this year all but a few are busts, and there are copious amounts of undrafted talent scoring big fantasy numbers. So the key concept I am seeing as applicable here.... is flexibility. Don't toss in the towel just because your draft day studs are worthless.... we're all dealing with that reality. It's the ones who can grab WR's like Jennings or Cotchery when they are showing signs of being used frequently in their offenses... and giving up and benching WR's like Randy Moss or Hines Ward who aren't.

Here's the weeks anal-lyses:

Kitna Kitty Tranquilizer...

When did the Vikings draft Kitna? Without him helping them score a quick 14 points in the 4th Quarter... the Vikes would have lost to the winless Lions and had to explain their apathetic offense. I know this is the new coaching staffs rookie season, but the way everybody is playing shows that very little of them have bought into the new "culture" they are trying to create.

Which team was I talking about; The Vikings or Lions? Oh well, it doesn't matter. They both look awkward and insecure most of the time. How the Vikes are 3-2 and Lions 0-5 is beyond me.... Childress must have made a deal with the Devil to get all the lucky breaks he's gotten so far.

I've said this the last two years... "This is the last time I fall for the hype around the Lions offense and draft Kevin Jones or Roy Williams in hopes of amazing fantasy output..." Just shoot me next year if I don't get smart and avoid Motor City like the plague.

Where's the Slaughter?

The point spread was giving the Titans a 19 point head start, like a 2-A High School team was coming to Indy to take on Goliath Manning and his Cavalry. But every warrior knows the enemy has a weakness.... and this enemy has a soft underbelly in the middle that can be run over like the neighborhood wimp. Coincidence: Vince Young likes to run. Just imagine a QB with the height and vision of a younger Culpepper and the legs and elusiveness of Vick. This is what the Titans have acquired for their franchise QB... and he's showing signs of things to come... even in the losses. Just don't expect much from the passing game.... just like Vick.

THANK YOU for the Harrison TD..... finally!! If you have to totally mess with the spread-makers and squeek out every win this season just to get a score for Marvin every week.... I'll take it.

The Butler Did It...

To move the ball down into "chip-shot" field goal range with under a minute left just to have the ball stripped away from you the following play.... must be hell Monday morning. But that toss to Jennings earlier sure was pretty... surely stuff like that makes into the REM highlight reel, too.

Bulger had about two or three near misses that should have been interceptions and should have ended up giving the Packers at least 2 more scoring opportunities that would have won the game for them. The Rams are winning ugly, but at least they are winning. Has anyone noticed the number of passing attempts Bulger is averaging per game this year is down from last year? Rumor has it that he's learned how to throw smarter.... not harder. Maybe that's why Al Harris didn't catch that ball thrown right to him.

Fun with Dick & JP

Jauron was the coach in Chicago when they started building up a hell of good defense. They had no offense whatsoever, though. Looks like someone has added one hell of a good offense in the last few years since Dick departed. Chicago scored on its first five possessions and continues to usurp the Indianapolis scoreboard mojo. The 40-7 shallacking of the Bills was the highest scoring output for the Bears since 1993.... that's 13 years and a whole lotta Curly Shuffles under the bridge.

After hearing that the Bears have a guy named Israel Idonije on their special teams squad, who recovered a muffed kickoff return this week.... and oddly enough on a day when Muhsin Muhammad all but disappeared from the Grossman air attack, I was wondering if by any chance there was a guy named Jesus on the roster. Wouldn't hurt to cover all the bases.

Just a Little Peppers on my Frye...

Somebody needs to light a fire under the Panthers offense so they start acting like the defense did this week. They won't win too many games with only 20 points and their D won't hold everyone to just 4 field goals on the afternoon. The Brownies had their opportunities to make this one closer than it turned out, but the minute it looked like they had something going, Northcutt played "tip drill" with Marshall and gave the Panthers 7 points.

Julius Peppers was all over Charlie Frye and messin' with his rhythm. It's hard to see what your WR's are doing downfield when your looking up at the sky. This Browns O-line SHOULD be a big greasy 1/2 lb burger... clogging up the arteries. But they WERE nothing more than Turkey & Swiss Sunday.... too many holes. Once they learn to protect their leader... I think they can start winning some games. As long as Charlie is running for his life.... no chance.

Bleed With Me...

The famous Hollywood line by "The Bruce" in Braveheart would have been a good movie to watch Saturday night for Mr Gradkowski and his comrades, the night before the rookie QB made his big debut. Surprisingly, he seems to have more command of this team than what Simms could ever dream of... and he had more pocket poise than one would expect of a nascent signal caller. The Bruce has single-handedly resurrected the fantasy values of Galloway, Caddy and TE Alex Smith, who might not be a bad TE pick up since his bye week is gone. Rookie QB's and TE's are supposed to be tight like that.

Playing to the home crowd.... Bush finally scored, and in fantasy terms he scored twice. Once as a Running Back and once for the D/ST since he returned a punt all the way. So I'm trying to find a clever way of saying that ONE in the hand is worth TWO in the Bush.... you do it... I give up.

Beyond the total domination of the Bears.... the 4-1 Saints are the NFC surprise of the year for me. As long as the Falcons or Panthers don't disintegrate somewhere along the next 11 weeks.... I can't see the Saints making the playoffs.

Amber Alert....

Can you use the Amber alert if you're Alzheimer's suffering QB disappears and you don't know where he is? He was passing for 400 yards a game and scoring 30+ points... then we were taking him to the Meadowlands and he just vanished into thin air. Eighty-six yards passing and no TD's? What happened? The G-Men D showed up... that's what. Three times they got to Brunell, the first of the season for Osi "My Last Name Is a Scrabble Triple Score-Ah" Umenyiora.

Am I the only one getting tired of the Shockey whining no shows. Slap a Kotex on it Jeremy... and get in the game for your T-E-A-M.

Thank You Joey... I'm Not Angry Anymore

First four games with Culpepper starting he is sacked an average of seven times per game. Harrington's debut = 1 sack. Am I missing something or does it sound like the Dolphin O-line is a bunch of Southern redneck KKK dudes? I AM just kidding... but seriously, where did the protection come from? Oh.... you mean Joey was unloading the ball quicker? Well, why didn't Duante figure that out a few games back? Yeah.... I know.... he had the sense knocked out of him.

Okay so I guess it's back to Plan A.... Joey is the guy this year (Lord have mercy on the Phins now).... and C'pepper is the guy of the future, when his leg r-e-a-l-l-y finally heals (I promise this time).

The Romulan Invisibility Cloak award this week goes to Asanti Samuels... who had two interceptions and helped set up two Patriot TD's.

Okay quick... name 3 or 4 Patroit WR's. Yeah.... Me neither!

Battle in the Bay...

Once upon a time the power and prestige in NFL football was assembled on either side of the Bay... but now, they could wear jean shorts, t-shirts and velcro flag belts and no one would care. I know Moss was just trying to light a fire under his buddies... but I think it either backfired or he started believing what he was saying.... bad result either way.

Andrew Walter "Mitty" threw two interceptions on the day.... and not to be outdone, his replacement Marquis Tuiasososososososo so-so had two of his own. Maybe they can buy a better QB on eBay. Wasn't there a deaf QB from Louisville that got drafted this year? Where's he at... gotta be better than these two clowns.

The flavor of the week this week for Smith was Arnaz Battle... but something tells me this isn't going to be a frequent hook up. Now that defenses have to respect Battle, they won't be able to key in on Bryant... and viola... next week Bryant gets 2 TD throws.

Go ahead Norv.... give them the single finger salute for the way they treated you. Just remember to stick to what you do best..... Mr O'Guru.

Flight #10 Shot Down...

Penny and the Jets were flying high until Sunday... and all of a sudden they stink it up worse than a ruptured colostomy bag. After being embarrassed by the Redskins... the Jaguars D threw down the gauntlet and re-emphasized their dominance over opponents offenses.... especially in their own house. After one half of the eventual shutout, Jags Linebacker Michael Peterson was busy intimidating Jets offensive linemen when he flexed his pectoral muscle just a little too hard and it blew up.

The Jags D has Pennington's number apparently.... it was during this game last year when he got injured.

The Boldin & The Beautiful...

Just two pass attempts into his NFL starting debut and Matt Leinart had a TD pass under his belt, and a nice lob to Anquin Boldin. Just when my hopes were up about the liklihood of keeping my WR corp intact with Fitzgerald... that when he goes and gets hurt. I never got Boldin, nor did I pick up Leinart in time a few weeks ago..... so until Fitz returns I'm SOL.

I'd just like to say that I know I have a lot of cheesy quips here... but when I read the "Wreck of the Larry Fitzgerald" on Fanball earlier.... I knew I hadn't gone that far over the edge. Actually.... I laughed and got jealous that someone else used it before I could.

The surprise of the match up here has to be the lack of a running game for the Chiefs, when the Cards have shown no stinginess in that area. I don't know if Antrel doesn't understand human anatomy and the basic principles of physics and objects in motion... but LJ looked like a rag doll for a second there. I'd like to see someone make a helmet with razorblade edges on the plastic face guard that would slice anyone's fingers who dared to grab the facemask. Lose a few digits and that shit will cease and desist pronto.

Boz Scaggs Gets A Royalty Fee...

...or The Basket Case vs the Case for Baskett

How many times has little Lito Sheppard been the toast of the town? That was some dandy of a 102 yard "Lito" Shuffle at the end of this one. How does a veteran QB like Bledsoe make such bonehead moves when the pressure is on? He had the Cowboys in position to tie it up with time running out. Without the mistake... we'd be singing a different song... and Boz Scaggs probably wouldn't mind a bit.

TO is singing "Crazy on Drew" by Heart these days. Anyone starting the office pool on the enivitable TO meltdown? I'll take Week #9... and the media frenzy between now and then is going to be a major headache for Poor ol' Bill.

Donovan is just tossing that football like a wadded piece of paper into the.... Baskett. Gotta respect the Lobos alum.... but he's just another flavor of the week on the WR rotessierre. Plenty of points to be had on the Eagles offense, but the problem is picking which one will be hot from week to week.

Chargers D London Itinerary... Meet Me At Big Ben

So far... nothing has gone right for the Steeler QB this season. His passing rating is next to last in the league, which means that rookies like Andrew Walter and Vince Young are in the same ballpark as last years Super Bowl winning QB.

Often times I've seen it.... and even experienced it myself. When you step into a new job or activity and begin performing it at exceptional level of ability with relative ease.... like it was nothing.... then sooner or later you're going to hit the wall and struggle. The best learning period is during the struggle... as much as you'd like to have the smooth ride and accolades... there really isn't anything there that will lead to growth.

On the Chargers side of the ball.... I like the fact that Marty is loosening up on the kid and giving him a chance to do what he does best (at least in college). If we don't see a return to Marty ball then I would expect great things from the combo of Rivers - Floyd. They've already got 2 TD's under their belt and they have a good chemistry.

You Were Expecting Beetle Bailey?

I have much respect for McNair... and typically he makes sound decisions that don't hurt his team. But Monday night that wasn't the case at all. I have no idea what possessed him to throw a ball to a receiver with very little "battle" experience and being covered by one of the leagues perennial "Shut Down" cornerbacks. The Bailey interception right before intermission was when the momentum began to swing Denver's way.

For whatever reason the Denver offense and Mr Plummer are slow to warm up and mistake prone. Bell's fumble and Plummer's interception early in the game made it look like a long wet night for Bronco fans like me. But fortunately things turned around with 3 McNair picks.... and a lethargic offense that never made it close to the end zone. The Broncos D has only allowed one TD so far.... that's the kind of scoring I'm used to... I get to score all kind of FG's.... just no TD's.

Sagitta Veritas

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