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Week #7
Still feeling some of the aftershocks and weirdness leftover from Week #6, but before I get to this week's fun from the NFL there's a few other things I have to mention. First of all, our fearless leader has had a wake up call this weekend, which put him on the sidelines. So Wikkid, stay away from that Indian Fry Bread and Greasy Juarez Loco chicas for a little while and get back to full strength as soon as possible. We all want to have you around for many more years to ridicule so we can feel better about ourselves.
Secondly, if there are any Wisconsin grocery store clerks out there reading this blog and trying to drum up a little internet niche for yourself with some hairbrained bright ideas....
Save yourself some headache and effort. Dont!
Ever since the news broke on this story I could not help myself but wonder if anyone has seen or heard from Verbie, because this sounds like something right up his alley.
Lastly, regarding the World Series "dirty palm" incident. Seriously people, are we all so gullible as to believe that Rogers just had a clump of dirt on his hand?! Maybe I'm just too cynical in my old age, but that didn't look like "just" dirt to me. We live in an age where professional athlete's are under more and more pressure to perform and more importantly... willing to do ANYTHING to get the edge over the other guy, without having to work hard to get there. It's not just the sports world that is suffering from this, it seems to be a cultural epidemic and there seems to be an equal amount of apathy that is just as disturbing in dealing with this problem.
I'll put away my "Archer Idealism" soap box now, because all I can do is bitch about what I see... and not offer any solution other than keep working on my own personal accountability and integrity. (shhh... don't tell anyone).
Here's a look at this weeks festivities:
King Philip's War...
Only this time the Chiefs won... and Philip was on the other side. Rivers dug himself a hole early with a few miscues, but I like what I saw about his "fight" and that is a good sign for his future as a starting QB in the NFL and maturing process. He could have called it quits after getting down 20-3, but he fought back. It's just too bad he isn't Rex Grossman or else he could have thrown a few more interceptions and still won the game.
With all the off-field antics, it has been just short of miraculous that the Chargers D has been performing as well as they have so far this season. But now that Merriman has added to the off-field crap and got himself suspended for 4 games, it looks like the Chargers D may have seen the last of its dominating days for a while.
Week 8 has been the week for kickers... and Lawrence Tynes was the LT that shined and secured the win for his team. Most of us were expecting the other LT to play that role. But the LT we all know and love had his shining moment Sunday, too..... of couse.
Pass!!!
Triple Lundy...
He CAN run... He CAN catch.... He.... DOESN'T SUCK!
Just when it looked like the Texans would have to rely on the arm of David Carr, they finally discover a running game against a defense that is historically a very stingy unit when it comes to stiffling opposing offenses. Sadie Hawkins Day came early this week as the Texans D was the one who kept the Jags offense in check all afternoon and set up their offense with scoring opportunities like the one after forcing Fragile Freddy to cough it up, which he hasn't done for a few years. Of course he only gets the ball 5 or 6 times a game, it's hard to fumble the ball when you don't have it.
The big news out of Houston this week is the 50% increase in food and beer sales along the Astrodome's food concourse... as fans finally had a reason NOT to leave at halftime just to avoid the traffic and watching another disappointing loss.
Here Kitty Kitty Kitty....
In the battle of cats this year, the Bengals are King of the jungle. The Panthers had their shot at winning this one, but in an instance of extreme color blindness Delhomme threw the ball to KJ waiting in the back of the end zone and didn't even see that other guy in the BRIGHT orange uniform right next to him. If Jake had his helmet mic on this is what he was saying when he realized his mistake and slapped his helmet with this hands.
"Oh Fuck!!"
"Godamnit!!!!"
... that wasn't an exact quote... but I bet it was close.
Just blame it on the wind... of fortune... the one that has been helping the Panthers pull out 3 point victories for the last 4 weeks.
In a game that featured two premeire wide receivers in Smith & Johnson (sounds like a new gun manufacturer), both were kept out of the end zone all day. Who got in the end zone? Both fantasy stalworth TE's: R Kelly ( no longer making kiddie porn?) and K Mangum. Be sure to add those guys to your fantasy rosters next week! They will never see the end zone again the rest of the year most likely.
Los(er)man Strikes Again...
The Patriots may not have much of an offense, and definitely aren't flashy or lighting up the scoreboard with abundance... but they are still winning. A big Thank You should go to the inadequacy of JP Losman for this win. Twice he had the Bills in NE territory ready to score, once he coughed it up and once he threw an interception. At least he was changing it up and finding new ways to fail.
Asante Samuel is making an impact for the Patriots D this year, he's been on a tear the past few weeks with 3 interceptions. In a No-Name defense like the Patriots have this year, he's a guy to watch... and adding some sparkle in the process.
The Red Shoe Diaries...
Have you ever seen a WR run so fast that he ran out of his shoe? Hines Ward had a career day with 171 yards and 3 visits to paydirt, one of those a 70 yard sprint minus one shoe.
The scoring bonanza was a little surprising considering that both defenses have been generally stingy so far this year, which made this game look like a smashmouth ball control match up on paper. Backinaday when the score was posted on the scoreboard by some lacky hanging a placard on the scoreboard hook... this game would have given him a cramp by halftime after running up and down the ladder so much. Both teams scored 2 touchdowns in the 2nd Quarter alone. Denver called and asked if they could have some of those points on loan for their game against Indianapolis later.
By now everyone has seen the kicking carousel that took place at the end of regulation... and all I can say is that Mora is a lucky man that he isn't having to second guess his decision Monday morning. Whaddya say we pick ONE kicker and go with him the rest of the season. Just like a coach to "over-coach" and make a mess of things when he has an option.
Can We Buy A Missed FG for a change?...
The frustration was easy to see. Two weeks in a row Donovan McNabb has had to watch from the sidelines as his team loses the game in the last seconds due to FG's. This week was even more unlikely than last weeks, as Bryant put on his gold leg... like Mister Gadget... and kicked a 62 yard field goal. If he had a clubfoot or kicked barefoot he could have made it from 64 easy.
But this week McNabb has no one else but himself to blame for the loss.... since he spotted the Bucs 14 points by giving Ronde Barber his audition tape for the Giants to show that he's ready to take Tiki's place next year when he retires.
Buchanon High product resurrects Jets ground game...
Until Sunday's 120 yard effort with two carries culminating with six points, the only two things Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington was noted for was cutting class and stealing Mr Woodson's nitro glycerin pills with his greasy halfwit Italian buddy named Vinnie.
"Hey, Mister Kott-errrrr..."
What?
Oh.... Leon "Boom Boom" Washington is his name. One Boom for each touchdown. I don't know how long its been since the Jets have had 42 rushing plays in one game, but I bet even in Martin's big year a few years back... there weren't many 40+ days. Hope the rookie came to work, because that is just what Penny needs to help his passing game.
Did anyone catch the connection between run and re-run? If I'm nothing else.... I'm clever and absurdly witty in my own mind.
Let's take a stroll down memory lane with the Lions for a moment...
Week #3 - GB 31 Detroit 24 (-7)
Week #4 - St Louie 41 Detroit 34 (-7)
Week #8.... (-7) again.... if next week wasn't the bye week we could just pencil in the Lions (-7) no matter who they play. The sad thing is... they are scoring enough points offensively, but the minute their defense gets out on the field again.... they're down 7 again. SF, Arizona and Miami on the horizon.... can this defense stop the bleeding for a few weeks to get a few victories?
Run Joey..... Run... Not Pass...
Somebody must have hit Saban in the head this last week. Why on Earth would he give Harrington and his arm carte blanche... and 62 opportunties... to destroy any chance of victory. True to his character Joey tossed 3 interceptions, which led to 13 points for the Packers. The margin of victory for the Pack: 10 points. Thank you very much Joey... we'll take it. Anyone who can make the Packers defense actually look halfway decent... has achieved a new level of suck-itude.
When you spend a 1st round draft pick to get a decent running back like Ronnie B., it seems like such a shame and waste of talent to not use him. And we wonder why Ricky wanted to spend all of his time smokin' jays and emulating Bob Marley any way he could..... he had way too much time on his hands and nothing better to do.
U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi... you ugly...
There is absolutely nothing else to say about the Denver game except that they won.... thanks again to the stellar performance of the defense, which by the way is on loan from Cleveland. I wonder if Romeo is second-guessing that decision?
5-1... and the ugliest winning offense I've seen in the Mile High City in quite a few years. I think the last time the Broncos looked this bad on offense was before Elway arrived and a little known QB named Gary Kubiak was sucking-in-style with the Orange Crush defense making him not look so..... Plummerish.
What's a Prize Fighter without a 1-2 punch combo?
If the lackluster Seahawks offense without Alexander and Hasselbeck is the point of reference.... then the answer is a washed-up nobody who couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag. Nothing like injuring the hometown hero QB to quiet the crowd. The Verizon guy could have walked over every inch of Qwest stadium and not missed one word.... if he actually had a conversation.
Can you hear me... *punch*
Shut the fuck up already! Welcome to Qwest territory you annoying little prick.
Chester "The Seahawk Molester" Taylor came into SA's house and flexed a little muscle, including a 95 yard scamper that made the Seahawk D look like a bunch of keystone cops.
If you play the Cardinals... don't worry about turnovers...
Last week the Bears had 6 turnovers... and won. This week, the Raiders commited 5 mistakes and really didn't play much better than they have all year during their 0-5 run.... but this week, because it was the Cardinals.... they finally win.
So let's see if I got this straight.... the crappy California QB from Arizona, nowhere near national championships or New York athletic club trophies, outplayed the classy Arizona QB from California. That makes sense.
Denny Green... welcome to the Hot seat. I know you're no stranger to being in it, but a word of warning in case your not familiar with Arizona hot seat territory. All I need to say is two words: Saguaro cactus.
So you wanna play rough...
Even after a face full of turf and a neck twisting hit that made me hurt just watching it.... Peyton never missed a beat... or play... and shredded the Redskins secondary with four scoring strikes and a mere 452 yards on 25 completions. Two of those touchdown throws were caught by Starvin' Marvin, who had only been on the receiving end of one TD pass through the previos five games.
From a Harrison fan and fantasy owner.... thank you thank you thank you!!!
In a week when a lot of quarterbacks were being carted off the field on stretchers... it looked like Peyton was going to be another victim to the weeks unsavory trend. A lesser man would have sat out the rest of the game at least and let the back up handle it. But the Colts were down 14-13 and pushing Peyton's face in the dirt only made him more resolved and probably angrier.... because he saved his best game for the 3rd quarter.
"Eat my dirt suckahs!" Peyton says...
Once: to Marvin
Twice: to Reggie
Thrice: To Marvin.... again.
Anyone got a guess as to win Gibbs decides to try his luck with a rookie QB?
Speaking of Rookie QB's...
Dear Mr Parcells:
No'mo Romo.... thank you very much Mr Roboto.... Romo.... Romo...
Although I must admit... nothing pleases me more than to watch a Monday Night meltdown in Dallas. I don't know how Parcells will be able to go back to Bledsoe without playing 52 card pick-up with his rookie QB's psyche. If Dallas has any hope of salvaging a 8-8 or better year, he needs to find a way to keep Bledsoe as his starter.
The story for Dallas this week was TO once again... only this time its not Terrell Owens, but TurnOvers.
The Giants went into their bye week looking pathetic... but now just two weeks later: They are perched on top of the NFC East and their defense is on fire. The next three weeks look like a downhill run with a three-week homestand including Tampa and Houston. Unless Seattle can come back from the death bed they are currently on.... chances of the Giants at least getting a wild card bid in the play offs are looking better every week.
Sagitta Veritas
PS... if you have comments or after thoughts about my weekly comments and after thoughts...
or you have any paternity claims, pending litigation, debt collection or repossessions.... load your guns and bring it on.... or email me if you're a spineless atavastic pig-fucker wimp. *grin*
asklockeroom@gmail.com
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