NUFCED by wikkidpissah

NOW THAT MY WEEK as Scandal Boy is at an end, it's time for some fantasy football theory. One's an old chestnut, NBYS, & the other, Tight End Quantification, is only old if you regularly read my Fanball posts (not that there's anything wrong with that).
NBYS: This favorite of the LOCKERROOM staff has almost nothing to do with whether the strong matchup of a backup can beat a superstar who's in tough. It has to do with decision making & delegating. If a manager cannot trust a portion of his team to always be the best for certain jobs, he ends up being swamped by an exponentially expanding number of decisions & duties, and usually ends up serving few of them well. In English, if you're making five coin-flip decisions, you'll make less mistakes than someone having to make ten. And mistakes breed mistakes at an ever-expanding rate of occurence. So, play your LT2s & SAs & Barbers & you'll find your decisions between Mason & McCardell to be better made.
TEQ: With verrrrry rare exceptions, tight ends only catch passes when no one is covering them. Look closely & you'll notice that the large majority of TE receptions are made on 1st down and on 3rd & long, both occasions being when the defense has the most coverage responsibilities. This is why TE is so hard to quantify. I guaranteed an improved performance for Jason Whitten in wk 3 because, while he was shut out when gameplanned as the primary coverage responsibility, the Boyz' WRs proved themselves worthy enough of coverage in the 1st two games to open some seams for JW. Just as when I, an old white guy, become familiar with a hiphop joint, it's likely to be a sooooo last year track, when you notice Chris Bakers & Steve Heidens in the boxscores you can be damn sure the def coords are all over a plan to stop them well before you read it. So try inverting your logic with TEs - like, rather than playing one who's going against a bad pass defense, play one going against a bad run defense. A tight end can beat 8-in-the-box a lot easier than the nickel. So, grab a big block of cheese & be George Constanza next week, doing the opposite of your natural instincts.

On to the games:

TB 17 - GB 16

Alan Ameche....Alan freakin' Ameche....the first football player's name that ever stuck in my head. The 1st football game I ever sat in front of was the great 1958 NFL Championship & there was a guy kept talkin about Alan Ameche (even tho he wasnt in the game). In football terms, that was somewhere between the Stone & Iron Ages. Well, Cadillac Williams, broke a record yesterday held by Alan freakin' Ameche for the most rushing yds in the 1st 3 games of a career. Mind you, 2 of those games were against GB & Minny, but I don't see any Ds in the way of him reaching stud status quicker than anyone since Dickerson. And, speaking of sports history, is #4 headed for the sorriest final season since Willie Mays wandered around CF for the '73 Mets? I sure hope not.

CIN 24 - CHI 7

Chapter One in The Ruining of a QB '05. It's a shame, really - I think Orton mighta been the QB Bears' fans have been looking for since Jimmy Headband gave it up. Is there a more important quality for an NFL quarterback than composure? Is there a quicker way to rob a young signalcaller of his than starting him from da gitgo & leaving him in, no matter what? Would it have killed Lovie to let Blake start a game or two & ease the kid in? Buckle in, Chiguys - there's gonna 6-8 more game like this, even in the Morris Division. Bengals=NFL's most professional team.

ATL 24 - BUF 16

Limited by a bad hamstring, Mexican Mike claimed to have "learned a lot" about pocket-passing today while falling under the 25% mark lifetime for 200yds passing/start. Well. I learned a lot about nutrition today while scarfing my 267th lifetime box-in-one-sitting of Goldfish today. Reason Falcons still won? JPLosman=Vick minus skills.

STL 31 - TENN 27

As boring as a shootout can be....if STL wasn't in the NFC Weast they'd be 5-11 this yr....has the Kevin Curtis era begun?....can't wait for the 1st CBrown-handcuff-during-Henry-suspension thread on the forums.

PHIL 23 - MIN 20

Westboogie averaging about 150 yds a game at an 8 yd/touch clip - get him. Reason #18 I like TO better'n Moss: With an obviously laboring QB, TO broke off a number of his routes to give McNabb a secondary target, Randy never left the sideline pattern. Am I the only one thinking that Mike McMahon could be one of this season's best stories if DMac loses significant PT to the 2 serious torso injuries? Then they could trade him to the Phins!

JAX 26 - NYJ 20 OT

I got your Stephen Davis....right here! THIRTY-SEVEN touches for Fragile Fred today....AND his annual TD to boot!....That moptop kid widda mad skillz who had New Yawkers wonderin' if Joe Willie was back a coupla yrs. ago was a total mirage....haven't paid a whole lot of attention, but haven't seen the Jets run a play I liked yet.

MINN 33 - NO 16

Almost hated exploiting it, but one of the best plays in sports is betting against an NFL team in its 3rd consecutive road game. Only happens maybe twice a season but occured here cuzza da flood. Dont get too excited yet, CPep fans -that was one sagginass Saints team out there....shame they can't have one home this yr....if the Vikes ever give Michael "No-cut" Bennett another important touch, they deserve to lose.

MIA 27 - CAR 24

Who can figger out my cats? Lose to NO at home, TOTALLY outclass the champs, then give it up to the comedy team of Brown & Frerotte. Good to see Ronnie shut up some of the naysayers - reeeeeally dont want StikkiIkkiRikki bogarting carries when his suspension's up....no doubt about it, SSmith's my favorite WR - no running game, ONE catch by other CAR wideouts & he STILL carves em up.

IND 13 - CLE 6

If you could've convinced me that the Colts would be 3-0 & I'd be looking to bench P-Man, I would have then followed you to "Jeb in '08" headquarters & offered my skills to help the dynasty continue....even tho he's officially on the downside, it was nice to see Mahvin grab the record for his part in the most prolific QB-WR tandem of all time.

SEA 37 - AZ 12

And the 2005 Hell-In-A-Handbasket award goes to....Much as I enjoy any disappointment residents of the Valley of the Sun can suffer, I really thought we were gonna see a big turnaround this year. Well, there's always next decade. Big Shaun seems to have a game like this in Sept every yr - glad only one of my teams faced him.

DAL 34 - SF 31

Biggest indicator of the quality of the FFB leagues I'm in? Couldn't find a single buy-low taker on Witten....What is it about college QBs that makes them such excellent possession receivers?I'd grab ABattle off the WW before BLloyd. Shame such a promising tandem has a QB that throws more 4th Q ints. than in all other Qs combined.

NE 23 - PGH 20

Reason #417 why Bill Belichick is a great coach: a week after creating a game film full of textbook examples of how to disrupt Tomboy's game for a next opponent that specializes in disrupting QBs games, Brady clicks like Larry King's dentures the entire contest....Wee Willie Parker falls back to earth, can RBBC be far behind?

SD 45 - NYG 23

I've always had a hard time paying attention for SNF but LT2 & the Eli-razzin' SD fans made it easy. Was Eli's the most ineffectual 350-2-0 performance you've ever seen? Every time the Gints don't find a way to make Tiki the focal point of their offense, they suck. How easy is it to shut down a TE when you start covering him? Of Eli's 1st 200 yds, Shockey caught half; of Eli's last 150, Shockey caught none. If AGates (who looked huge tonite) gets 50 yds next week, I'll quit quitting stuff.

That's it. I quit!!!!